The Exorcism of Emily Rose ...
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The Exorcism of Emily Rose ...
Shovel Ready
The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
Yikes!
Are there even small children who didn't find this movie insanely stupid?
I'm not referring to the gaping plot holes or thinly veiled Christian subtext either, it's the astoundingly boneheaded and inexplicable decisions made by the characters in every single instance.
Faced with any given circumstance and offered three options, you can bet the farm that the person in this movie will opt for the path that would leave an average five year old agape with disbelief.
The entire plot of this film is predicated/dependent on a protagonist making the worst possible choice, consistently and without reflection.
By my reckoning, it only took about fifteen minutes of running time for the leads to make a fatal error- had the director any gumption at all, he would have shown the real results of such a mistake and ended the film (for anyone interested this would be the swordfight "practice" on the ship's deck shortly after the faceless meatsacks who star in this film arrive in Narnia).
The look of the movie is serviceable (what can I say, it looked OK on a 20" PC monitor) but not in any way remarkable.
This is awful, life-scarring, IQ lowering video crap...spare yourself (and please! Let's think of the children!) the agony, I already took this one for the team.
"I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg
FST Crew
BT Rep: +1
^^^ I saw the first one in cinema. I remember it taking about 1.5 hours for anything even remotely interesting to happen then only to finish with a predictable plot that would satisfy a three year old. So far The Chronicles of Narnia films are too violent for three year olds and too simplistic for people in higher age groups.
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music"
Persona non grata
When I was young read the series several times and found Voyage of the Dawn Treader to be one of the better entries but even it is incredibly uneven .
A great deal of the blame is that C.S. Lewis , being a fundamental Christian, insisted on steeping all important plot points in allegory ( and therefore deadly solemnity ) while a lot of the incidental stuff ( like the Dufflepuds ) is silly in the extreme.
Works better in the books than the films but by the end you just wish they had all gone to heaven sooner and saved us all the time .
Respect my lack of authority.
Shovel Ready
I didn't notice too many of the plot devices, dismayed as I was by the everyday stupidity of the leads.
Spoiler: ShowFor instance:
Faced at nightfall with an unknown island who's very visible city is oddly quiet/seemingly uninhabited, Caspian (apparently an Admiral or something) decides that the smart move involves all the main characters leaving the safety of the magical ship (magic in that it's unaffected by gravity- during a violent storm, as the ship is tossed on violent waves, two girls lie in bed, barely even swaying instead of being ragdolled on the floor and ceiling) and camping out on the beach.
Leaving all the guards and soldiers on the ship.
With no gear of any sort...people just sort of flop onto the sand and fall asleep.
While the comfortable, safe ship floats just offshore.
In any real army, a leader who made such boneheaded, potentially fatal decisions, would be fragged by the troops.
And don't even get me started about how it might come to pass that the King and his #1 captain decide to be the single reconnaissance team sent into the scary city.
While all the soldiers stand idly by.
They botch the mission badly, needless to say.
"I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg
Dexter's Apprentice.
Case 39,darngood suspense horror,first film to give me a shiver for a long thyme
All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in my post's are intentional.
Poster
Season of the witch 8/10 because I like witches but it was not scary enough
Shovel Ready
"Not scary enough" and you "expected more", yet you give it an 8 out 10 rating.
What would you consider a 5?
"I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg
FST Crew
BT Rep: +1
Paper Man / 2009.
I really wanted to finish this film, I really did. The first half is just confusing and appears to have no intention of progressing to a plot. It's not until Richard hunts down Abby does it really go anywhere. I dozed in and out towards the end so don't really recall anything after the sex scene in the car.
I think it's films like these that film reviewers/lecturers will have an orgasm over while the rest of the audience is just wondering what the fuck is going on. For instance, what was the purpose of the couch scene; was it a metaphor, did it have a significant meaning or was it just a filler scene?
Last edited by iLOVENZB; 01-26-2011 at 07:44 AM.
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music"
Airplane! (1980)
Complete waste of bandwidth and time. Extremely cheesy humor. I kept searching for a gem somewhere in the drag (considering on how many all-time-favorites lists the title has appeared) but the most exciting thing about it was a bare-chested woman...
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