You forgot, "Pan the camera!"Originally Posted by IdolEyes787
an alchemist?
You forgot, "Pan the camera!"
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Conan the Barbarino (2011)
After all the less than glowing reviews it was nowhere near as terrible as I thought it would be.
Probably it's saving grace is that ( somewhat incredibly) Jason Momoa makes a pretty decent Conan.So does the kid who plays his younger version .
Other than that not much to recommend.It tries to give a good mix of sword and sorcery and it does have it's (brief) moments but I felt the film never really captured the essence of Howard's Hyborian Age, being for all the blood and gore , much too PG friendly if only in attitude not execution.
I do get the feeling though that with a more engrossing story and a couple more memorable supporting characters they might have actually had something here.
As it is though not good,not bad but if you do decide to watch it at least you won't hate yourself for doing so.
Btw I'm a big fan of sword and sorcery/ sword and sandals stuff so I don't know if that made me more or less critical of this movie.
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an alchemist?
greetz idoelyes you like conan barbarian, that's cool bro
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Stop stalking me .Have I offended you or something?
Also get a life.
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an alchemist?
sorry if offended bro
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I told you I prefer brah. All the cool kids at the gym say that.
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¿ןɐɯɹou ǝq ʎɥʍ
BT Rep: +3
So I have been watching movies lately, I just haven't gotten off my arse to review any. However recommending a 'gritty' movie to Megabyteme gave me a hankering for the same kind of film.
So I watched (again) Get Carter, no not the homogenised, neutered sad and pointless Hollywood remake, the real hard cunt british classic.
This movie has been called the quintessential British gangster movie and I would have to agree, all the elements are there, yet there is far more to this movie than that. There is of course Michael Caine at his most ruthless and menacing, but there are no 'good guys' and 'bad guys' in this picture, it isn't all black and white like an american movie needs to be.
The characters are all various shades of reprehensible, from vaguely dislikable through to thoroughly revolting human beings and they all seem to have the morals of slugs.
The backdrop too is depressing, a northern town in the mid-seventies was a depressing place anyway, unemployment was beginning to soar, but this movie manages to capture the seedy side so well, and there are many depressing moments in the movie that have nothing to do with the plot. The four people turning up for the funeral for instance (really depressing), the bad singer at the pub, or the bingo announcer talking in a monotone, all these things are cleverly woven into the story to give an overall feeling of a lackluster dull surrounding.
Even our hero Jack Carter is an anti-hero, he is a better class of thug but still a thug and utterly amoral to those around him, he is just slightly less distasteful than the people he is hunting for in an effort to find out why his brother died. Even the deaths of the 'bad' people are gritty and depressing, while the reason for Jack's revenge is a depressing and horrible one.
Yet for all this, and the fact that the action in the movie is very raw and believable, not antiseptic and prewrapped like a U.S. feature these days, you still feel emotion and are invested in the characters in this movie, even if at times it is disgust. Ultimately Jack is a rogue, but although amoral, he is a likable rogue in many ways, and you feel justified in what he is doing.
This is not a movie with a happy beginning, it does not get happier as the movie progresses and it has a very unhappy ending, yet it is far more riveting and believable than anything produced by Hollywood in years, I highly recommend this film if you have not already seen it.
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Persona non grata
You sure you didn't just inadvertently watch a season of Breaking Bad?
Other than that by comparing the original with the Stallone remake ,you get to see Hollywood do it's usual copout at the end , not giving the audience any credit and totally lessening the impact of the film.
Last edited by IdolEyes787; 10-17-2011 at 11:19 AM.
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Shovel Ready
Based upon this one review I decided to watch Conan and afterwords realized how artfully deceptive Idols wording was.
"Nowhere near as terrible" leaves a lot of room for crap and Conan oozes in to fill the available space.
Had Rob Schneider been cast as the thief, Conan would have been exactly as bad as feared.
Mamoa certainly does embody the archetype well (although I doubt he'll ever be the Governor of California), possessing the body mass, the hair and even unfettered access to Johnny Depp's man-kohl supply.
The other notable performance came from Ron Perlman, who plays "Wise Chin" (Conan's father).
The creepy witch daughter of the bad guy reminded me of Abby from NCIS (with a nod to Gary Oldman's Dracula)...kinda weird, actually.
My question about the story...
How come it takes Conan 20 years to find his arch enemy when everyone else seems to know exactly where he is and what he's up to?
Has he never heard of Google maps?
I came prepared with very low expectations, so was not filled with self disgust when it finished.
In fact, Conan shall from now on be my go-to reference example of "The Quiet Moment" in moviemaking.
The Quiet Moment is a favorite of screenwriters and is abundantly employed in Conan...Conan's birth scene (which opens the movie) is a perfect example of the trope.
Amidst a swirling battle, Conan's mother and father (The Chin!) have a quiet tender scene that ends with a birth- the flying arrows and rampaging attackers thoughtfully subside for the precious moment.
Conan's fresh born body is lifted skyward and not hacked to bits and set aflame as one might expect...because that would be totally logical and really fuck with the storyline.
The movie ends with a very similar setpiece moment as Conan and his ho take down the bad guy in his underground temple.
It's inevitable that the place will come thundering down...and it does, but it stops collapsing long enough to allow for the requisite faceoffs and rescues before finally tumbling into the ocean.
It's a geological formation with an exquisite sense of dramatic flair, possibly the most adroit acting in the whole film.
The copy I watched was truly wretched...very dark and horrible sound.
I don't expect a DVD rip would change my impression.
And yet you continue to deny yourself Game of Thrones.
Last edited by clocker; 10-17-2011 at 01:33 PM.
"I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg
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As far as fantasy goes I like my protagonists to be as heroic as possible so sue me.
Btw I was originally going to put that Momoa was the one saving grace but then I figured fuck it , it's not like I'm Ebert and get paid for dong this.
Last edited by IdolEyes787; 10-17-2011 at 04:10 PM.
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