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Thread: When girls don't put out:

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    LMAO I'm a girl and even I thought this was funny


    This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense
    of humor!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
    I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
    was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
    because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
    play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
    almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
    excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
    "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
    "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
    knows I'm smarter than her.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    hahaha

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Rip The Jacker's Avatar Retired
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  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    BANNED
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    Funny !

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    NeoTheOne's Avatar Poster
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    LOl yea herd this one before lol

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
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    nice this is one smart dude.
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  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    bornwithnoname's Avatar Bit Master BT Rep: +1
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    he da man

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    WOX's Avatar L.A VAMPIRE HERO
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    man you're a genius i'm going to use this trick too.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    Hairbautt's Avatar *haircut
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    Laugh

    That's pretty fuckin' good.
    _________________________________________________________________________________________
    Last edited by Alien5; Jun 6th, 2006 at
    06:36 PM..

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    i.dragonfly's Avatar -======//OvO BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    Good one. Who wrote it?

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