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  1. #1
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    One day, on 9/9/99, a man woke up at 9:09 a.m. in the morning, jumped on Bus #99 and went to his favorite restaurant on 9th Street. When the cashier rang up his order, it totaled $9.99.
    "Oh, wow, this is an omen!" the man said, so he bought a pair of cheap binoculars at the 99 store, pulled out 99 cents in fares and took Bus #99 to the Race Track. As he approached Gate No. 9, he said to the ticket agent: "I would like to bet $999.99 on Horse No. 9 in the 9th race."

    "Why those particular numbers?" the ticket agent asked.

    "Nine seems to be my lucky number today," the man said excitedly. "I'm really on a roll!"

    Feeling confident, he sat through the first eight races until Race No. 9 came up. Sure enough, he was on a roll.

    The horse came in ninth.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
    As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

    "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

    "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

    "How much did this really cost?"

    "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

    "No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

    Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

    Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"

    "Two and a half carats."
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    It was my first time ever
    And I'll never forget
    I'd do it again
    Without a single regret.
    The sky was dark
    The moon was high
    We were all alone
    Just she and I

    Her hair was soft
    Her eyes were blue
    I knew just what
    She wanted to do

    Her skin so soft
    Her legs so fine
    I ran my fingers
    Down her spine

    I didn't know how
    But I tried my best
    I started by placing
    My hands on her breast

    I remember my fear
    My fast beating heart
    But slowly she spread
    Her legs apart

    And when I did it
    I felt no shame
    All at once
    The white stuff came

    At last it's finished
    It's all over now
    My first time ever
    At milking a cow.....

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Seedler's Avatar T__________________T
    Join Date
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    Canada
    Posts
    4,644
    Quote Originally Posted by baccyman View Post
    One day, on 9/9/99, a man woke up at 9:09 a.m. in the morning, jumped on Bus #99 and went to his favorite restaurant on 9th Street. When the cashier rang up his order, it totaled $9.99.
    "Oh, wow, this is an omen!" the man said, so he bought a pair of cheap binoculars at the 99 store, pulled out 99 cents in fares and took Bus #99 to the Race Track. As he approached Gate No. 9, he said to the ticket agent: "I would like to bet $999.99 on Horse No. 9 in the 9th race."

    "Why those particular numbers?" the ticket agent asked.

    "Nine seems to be my lucky number today," the man said excitedly. "I'm really on a roll!"

    Feeling confident, he sat through the first eight races until Race No. 9 came up. Sure enough, he was on a roll.

    The horse came in ninth.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
    As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

    "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

    "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

    "How much did this really cost?"

    "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

    "No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

    Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

    Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"

    "Two and a half carats."
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    It was my first time ever
    And I'll never forget
    I'd do it again
    Without a single regret.
    The sky was dark
    The moon was high
    We were all alone
    Just she and I

    Her hair was soft
    Her eyes were blue
    I knew just what
    She wanted to do

    Her skin so soft
    Her legs so fine
    I ran my fingers
    Down her spine

    I didn't know how
    But I tried my best
    I started by placing
    My hands on her breast

    I remember my fear
    My fast beating heart
    But slowly she spread
    Her legs apart

    And when I did it
    I felt no shame
    All at once
    The white stuff came

    At last it's finished
    It's all over now
    My first time ever
    At milking a cow.....
    @ last one.

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    Radeon 5850 @ 866/1254MHZ
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    WD Caviar Black 2TB in RAID 0
    3 x Asus 25.5" VW266H LCD [Eyefinity]

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    The nine joke is more than a joke. It make you think!!!

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    :) BT Rep: +9BT Rep +9
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    damm girls... diamonds are overated

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Poster BT Rep: +3
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    lol, the last one is awesome!!!!

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    enahmadbs's Avatar Chelsea Fan BT Rep: +21BT Rep +21BT Rep +21BT Rep +21BT Rep +21
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    31
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    lol

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    lol

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    idan2901's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    130
    its good....

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