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Thread: I'm so proud of myself!

  1. #1
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    There I was, cooking dinner in the kitchen ( broccoli, organic plum tomatoes, mushrooms and spring onions with noodles in a salsa sauce with fresh chicken breast marinaded in ginger and lemon)

    All of a sudden I see movement on the floor, to discover a big fat masssive humongous spider ( about the size of the palm of my hand) is sitting on the kitchen floor, camouflaging itself on the rug in front of the sink.

    I am instantly aware of its evil plan!
    When I turn my back it will jump on me and eat me!


    Obviously, some very advanced tactical moves were a necessity here.
    I withdrew myself into the living room so it could scuttle under the vegetable basket ( possibly to steal the onions to use them as stink boms)

    So, heroic as I am, I click my tongue, by doing so, tricking my cats into thinking they're getting fed ( thanks Pavlov). I pick up one of them and throw it at the spider.
    The cat just kinda looks at me and trots back up so she stands next to me again.

    I pick up another cat, and throw it at the spider. That cat fails to see the spider as well.

    At this point I realise the spider must have been watching Jurassic Park, and knows that predators don't see anything when it doesn't move.

    Luckily, at this point, the spider decides to make a move for the onions.
    BUT! It hadn't seem cat number 3!
    Who quite happily jumped on top of the spider and ate it.


    MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Take that evil eight legged freaks!

    (ps: I didn't scream once during this whole episode)

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Crazy cat lady.
    All that is lost and past we can never regain.
    Regret and loathing is all we have in their place.


  3. Lounge   -   #3
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    Damn, your text only lacks a crescendo soundtrack to go with it, plus some crunching sounds.

    Moral of the Story is: Your third pussy will kill your web.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    CrabGirl's Avatar Sexpest
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    Three cats. The anathema to spider safety!

    Fantastically well done. I want more cats and this is definatly the perfect excuse to convince cheese that jinx can't handle spiders on her own.

    In fact I'm going to collect some from the park in a jar and release them round the house to convince him of this need for multiple cattage.

    I bet your third cat was really smug about the fact that (s)he caught it and the others didn't!
    This pump dispenses gasoline, a fossil fuel. People who believe fossils are not real should put something else in their tanks.

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  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Hairbautt's Avatar *haircut
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    That was damn well interesting
    _________________________________________________________________________________________
    Last edited by Alien5; Jun 6th, 2006 at
    06:36 PM..

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    I tihnk she was rather pleased with herself because she got an extra juicy snack.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Sextent's Avatar Version Five
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrabGirl View Post
    In fact I'm going to collect some from the park in a jar and release them round the house to convince him of this need for multiple cattage.
    That's either a big fuck off jar, or really wee cats. You sure they can deal with a spider.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    thewizeard's Avatar re-member BT Rep: +1
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    Dogs are also handy for spider attacks or incursions ..remember teh saying "raining cats and dogs" that's where it originate from... Scotts tend to use, small innocent cats. In India they throw tigers..but thats becaue the spiders are bigger, due to the tropical temperatures.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    deal's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +9BT Rep +9
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    you are crazy

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    popopot's Avatar To Me, To You BT Rep: +5
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    Forget the spider, how was dinner? Sounds delicious. What vintage did you sup whilst consuming you magnificent feast?


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