Sex with older ladies...help needed

[jimbo12345]

An unfortunate accident with an abacus and a contraceptive device I heard.

Do you still phone each other to chat?

pooves.

It's called having a friend.....

[Barbarossa]

An unfortunate accident with an abacus and a contraceptive device I heard.

Do you still phone each other to chat?

pooves.

That was in fact one of the greatest conversations ever

[Proper Bo]

Didn't ewe find out where he works or something?

[Barbarossa]

Not manker, no. JP knows where he works, though.

I found out where mulder works.

[Chip Monk]

1 off mate and glad of it.

Don't mind offering a chap a free ticket for a soccer extravaganza, but chatting to a bloke from the internets. Thrice nay methinks.

[Chip Monk]

I'm going to post that conversation when I get home. Or maybe I'll get one of my people to do it.

Yes that sounds better.

[Chip Monk]

Not manker, no. JP knows where he works, though.

I know where they both work as it happens.

[Barbarossa]

I was in bed, reading. The lad wouldn't sleep and was creating merry hell around me but he seemed happy enough so I left him to it.

The phone rang - now normally I don't answer it to numbers I don't know but I did and was greeted by a someone 'looking for manker' who initially sounded Pakistani but then I later realised it was Scotch.

I thought it must be Spider_dude because he is the only Scot who rings me so conducted the conversation as if it was him. After much confusion and me telling 'Liam' to stfu and this 'Jim' telling me that his name wasn't 'Ian', I realised it was JP. I'd never spoken to him before, so it was quite a novelty.

I don't have total recall of the conversation but I do remember JP telling me that my plan to phone at 9:30 the next morning to say whether I needed an extra ticket to Keano's testimonial (the reason for the phonecall) was an "Ideal idea" - which I thought highly amusing in an 'at not with' kinda way.

Anyhow. By now the boy was playing up a bit and obviously wanted me to stop talking on the phone - so I said this to JP:

Me: Sorry, I need to see to my Son. Sorry I can't stop on and chat.
JP: What?
Me: Sorry I can't stay and chat but the lad ... .
JP <interrupting>: I heard what you said; the chances of me actually phoning up someone from the interweb is nigh on fucking zero so if you think for a second that I'm wanting to stay and chat then you're mistaken.

<slight pause>

JP: In fact, after this conversation, I hope I never have to speak to you ever again. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Me <laughing>: Well, okay that's fair enough, I'll have to phone tomorrow tho'.
JP: Sure. Bye now.

Click.

I'm paraphrasing, obviously, and maybe it wasn't as harsh as all that - more jovial - but I was like

Genious

[Proper Bo]

jp, you're my hero

[jimbo12345]

lmao....wtf?!?!