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Thread: Heartrending email

  1. #1
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    I just got this email and it touched me deeply.
    Knowing what a caring lot you all are I thought I'd share it with you in hopes of improving this brave little soul's lot.

    Plus, I like NASA...
    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Evans
    My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing
    this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is
    because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except
    when I try to breathe.

    The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with
    leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of
    us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag.
    Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

    I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to
    everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr.
    Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill
    Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that
    funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America
    and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can
    hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could then help me get better.

    Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be
    third base. Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take
    more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.
    Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my
    leaves to rot before I turn 10.

    If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean
    and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only
    a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own
    guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and
    then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you
    can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so
    that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodyless
    nine-year-old boy?

    Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty.
    I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't
    chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I
    wish that very much.

    Thank You,

    Billy Evans
    If we could all just take a little time out from correspondence with deposed Nigerian royalty and maybe help just a bit closer to home, the world would be a better place.
    Thanks.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Where does that pass for humour.

    Seriously, it's crap.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by clocker View Post
    I just got this email and it touched me deeply.
    Knowing what a caring lot you all are I thought I'd share it with you in hopes of improving this brave little soul's lot.

    Plus, I like NASA...
    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Evans
    My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing
    this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is
    because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except
    when I try to breathe.

    The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with
    leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of
    us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag.
    Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

    I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to
    everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr.
    Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill
    Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that
    funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America
    and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can
    hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could then help me get better.

    Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be
    third base. Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take
    more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.
    Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my
    leaves to rot before I turn 10.

    If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean
    and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only
    a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own
    guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and
    then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you
    can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so
    that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodyless
    nine-year-old boy?

    Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty.
    I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't
    chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I
    wish that very much.

    Thank You,

    Billy Evans
    If we could all just take a little time out from correspondence with deposed Nigerian royalty and maybe help just a bit closer to home, the world would be a better place.
    Thanks.
    Nigeria is probably a bit closer to home and I never heard of any of them dreaming of playing baseball. So nigeria > sack boy

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley View Post
    Where does that pass for humour.

    Seriously, it's crap.
    Says the man who links browser hijackers.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    LaPistola's Avatar about BT Rep: +2
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    I agree with JP, its not very funny
    Quote Originally Posted by bigboab View Post
    I don't know about the north but in the south an Englishman is about as welcome as a fart in a space suit.




  6. Lounge   -   #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by clocker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley View Post
    Where does that pass for humour.

    Seriously, it's crap.
    Says the man who links browser hijackers.
    So we have you and lynx, two people, amongst the smartest on the board. Not one of you is able to use a half decent browser

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Quote Originally Posted by callum View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by clocker View Post
    Says the man who links browser hijackers.
    So we have you and lynx, two people, amongst the smartest on the board. Not one of you is able to use a half decent browser
    I have no idea what you mean by that.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    SgtMajor's Avatar Shut up u Lovely Boi BT Rep: +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100
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    Shame there was no email address to send funds too, I need to empty my paypal account to some worthy cause, I'm a sucker for a crap sob story
    Yes Sir, I'm Right On It!!

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    BANNED BT Rep: +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100
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    LOL BURLAP-BOY rofl, his cat will shit on him.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Quote Originally Posted by clocker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr JP Fugley View Post
    Where does that pass for humour.

    Seriously, it's crap.
    Says the man who links browser hijackers.
    That was funny tho', the thing you posted was just sick.

    I can go with sick if it's actually amusing, that wasn't.

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