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Thread: I'm Not Paying

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    Man goes into a bar with an ostrich and a cat.

    The bar tender says "What would you like Sir?"

    The Man Says "I'll have a pint of beer"

    He looks at the ostrich and says "What will you have?"

    "I'll have a pint of beer" says the ostrich.

    He looks at the cat "What will you have?"

    Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying!" .

    "That will be £12.65" says the bartender.

    So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £12.65.

    The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

    "What'll it be today" says the bartender

    "Double whiskey on the rocks" says the man

    He looks at the ostrich and says "What will you have?" "I'll join you in a double whiskey" says the ostrich He looks at the cat "What will you have?"

    "Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying!"

    "That will be £21.95" says the bartender

    So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £21.95.

    The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

    "Excuse me" the bartender says "I was just wondering why, no matter what the price, you always have the exact change in your pocket?"

    "Well" says the man "When my grandmother died she left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp so I rubbed it and out popped a genie.

    It granted me three wishes so I asked that every time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact change in my pocket"

    "That's brilliant" says the bartender "You'll never ever run out of money. What else did you ask for?"

    "A bird with long legs and a tight pussy"

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2

    Smile

    Well since no one has expressed an opinion about your joke I will. I don't usually even read them but I did this one and this old man got a chuckle out of it.

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    MaaxHimself's Avatar ‡ Borat Sagdiyev ‡ BT Rep: +9BT Rep +9
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    Haha, a tight pussy!

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    SaveFerris's Avatar ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ
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    That was quite a good one.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Living on the edge BT Rep: +4
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    good one lol

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Adama's Avatar Xtreme User BT Rep: +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100
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    good one



  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Aaxel21's Avatar AHHHHH!
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    Dang cat.
    Remember bullets always have the right of way.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    nkhlsrf's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +5
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    not bad

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    sleepyy's Avatar Old-Fashioned BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    Another great

    Cheers

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