Ten Most Overrated Bands
by TheMan
In today's musical world many bands have become famous despite having no musical skill or taste. They are in a word, overrated. It is time to give these musical cancers the recognition they deserve. It is time to rank the top ten most overrated bands of all time. The following list was compiled through deep investigative reporting and a poll of top music insiders. Ranked by a standardized point scale, these ten bands were chosen by the amount they were "overrated" in four areas: overrated albums or singles, overrated concerts, overrated hysteria, and plain out overrated musical skill.
It has been also been determined that approximately 95.5% of the fan base of these overrated bands possess one or more of the following: 1)an IQ under 50. 2)addiction to alcohol or drug-related substances. 3)A subscription to Oprah's Magazine 4)an emotional need to feel accepted and 5)no life.
Without further ado, lets begin the list of the top ten most overrated bands of all time:
10)Limp Bizkit. I wish that this band would keep "rollin'" into some deep, inescapable abyss. Hearing their music makes all of body limp. If I had it "My Way," I would take Fred Durst's red hat turn it sideways and stick it straight up his chocolate starfish ass.
9)Hootie and the Blowfish. Need I say more?
8)Pink Floyd. Perhaps the only legitimate band in the list, their reason for being placed here is strictly because of the "overrated" quality of the list. Pink Floyd is a good band, but not a great band. Devoting thirty minutes on a classic rock radio station to their music not only shrinks the intelligence of the listening audience but also misleads them into believing that Pink Floyd actually has three good songs. Maybe some education would have helped their song writing.
7)Nirvana. "Smells like something crappy." I would like to take their "heart-shaped box" and flush it down my "oval-shaped hole" in my restroom. Lucky for Nirvana, their "lead singer," and I use that term loosely, died; otherwise, they would have produced a decade of pathetic music like number one on this list. To further promote my point, Nirvana's drummer is the lead singer of Foo Fighters. Ouch, that one hurt to say.
6)AC(Lightning Bolt)DC. I believe all of the musical experts on my panel picked AC/DC for the same reason. Suppose you are driving in your car and the radio plays a song. Immediately, you recognize the song as an AC/DC hymn. Why is that? Because every one of their songs is exactly the same. To quote Led Zeppelin, "The Song Remains the Same" over and over and over again for AC(Lightning Bolt) DC. AC/DC needs to change their songs, and change their clothes(note to lead guitarist).
5)Metallica. Metallica fans are losers. Have you ever seen one w/out a black shirt on and a semblance of a tan? Do they ever leave their parents basement?
4)Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Now I can understand trying to sound like other famous and successful musicians, but why would Tom Petty want to sound exactly like Bob Dylan? This band's problem: they don't write like Bob Dylan. You guys be the boy, "in the courduroy pants", and I'll be the girl, running like a "bat out of hell" away from you.
3)The Dave Matthews Band. I have one question to the loyal fans of this group: "Can't find a better band?" Obviously, fans of "DMB" live secluded lives and fit all of the criteria listed above. Wanna see what I am talking about? Go to a DMB concert. A better name for this group would be, The Dave Matthews Wish We Were Good Enough To Be Called a BAND But Our Songs Drone On For Way Too Long And Our Lead Singer's Voice Sounds Like He Swallowed A Squeaky Toy And Got It Stuck In His Windpipe.
2)Aerosmith. The only good thing to ever come from this band was Liv Tyler. One of many bad things to come from this band: "Jaded." Need I say more? The world has only one solution. First, gather all of Aerosmith's albums. Next, hire a blacksmith to make some type of safe. Third, hire a locksmith to make an impenetrable lock for the safe. Finally, place all of the "albums" into the safe, lock it up, and throw it into the same deep, dark abyss as Limp Bizkit.
1)Pearl Jam. First of all, the band's name is a blatant rip-off of the arcade game "NBA Jam." Second, the initials of the band's name is PJ. Mess up there guys? Third, it doesn't help a band when their fans cannot understand one word in their songs. And fourth, this band cannot be very good if I do not know one of their songs. And that is saying something, because Pearl Jam is the most overplayed, overloved, and overrated band in the history of music.
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