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Thread: Ventriloquist

  1. #1
    sleepyy's Avatar Old-Fashioned BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    I know it's quite old i heard this again tonight and thought i post it it's quite funny here you go


    An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi, "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
    Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
    Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
    Dog: "Doin' all right."
    Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
    Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
    Dog: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
    Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
    Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
    Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
    Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
    Horse: "Cool"
    Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
    Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the villager)
    Horse: "Yep"
    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
    Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
    Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
    Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
    Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Living on the edge BT Rep: +4
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    good one

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    Actatoi's Avatar 2+2 is 5 if I say so BT Rep: +2
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    Perfect one
    What an ordinary day, the extraordinary way.



  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Adama's Avatar Xtreme User BT Rep: +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100
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    good one



  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Aaxel21's Avatar AHHHHH!
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    poor sheep
    Remember bullets always have the right of way.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    IceTee's Avatar Fo'shizzle my nizzle BT Rep: +2
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  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    LaPistola's Avatar about BT Rep: +2
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    sheepshagger
    Quote Originally Posted by bigboab View Post
    I don't know about the north but in the south an Englishman is about as welcome as a fart in a space suit.




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