How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[Biggles]

A fair proposition I think I could manage that.


Feck! SGG has spilled something sticky on the desk and I have just put my hand on it. I think it is tea - she puts about 15 sugars in her tea

[clocker]

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.

That's the problem with folks who are 100% certain of anything.

Without a smidgen of doubt to fuel the fire, it's tough to muster an argument that isn't fundamentally reducible to "Because I said so".

The poor godhobbit has failed to rise above the level of the morons present at every sporting event who flash a "John 3:16" placard and feel like they've done their bit to covert the masses.

I don't think he's capable of better.

Why doesn't God compel a Jesuit to come and do battle here?
At least he'd be armed with eloquence and wit instead of this braindead pedantry.

Probably provide some good liquor as well.

[bigboab]

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.

That's the problem with folks who are 100% certain of anything.

Without a smidgen of doubt to fuel the fire, it's tough to muster an argument that isn't fundamentally reducible to "Because I said so".

The poor godhobbit has failed to rise above the level of the morons present at every sporting event who flash a "John 3:16" placard and feel like they've done their bit to covert the masses.

I don't think he's capable of better.

Why doesn't God compel a Jesuit to come and do battle here?
At least he'd be armed with eloquence and wit instead of this braindead pedantry.

Probably provide some good liquor as well.

I did not know that you like the Buckfast Clocker.

[clocker]

I attended a party last night that featured a single malt tasting comparison.

I must admit that after the fifth or so sample, they all tasted mighty fine.

Not so big on the Buckfast though (never having tried it before...).

[Sextent]

Your mission should you choose to accept it is to say something even halfway convincing.

That's the problem with folks who are 100% certain of anything.

Without a smidgen of doubt to fuel the fire, it's tough to muster an argument that isn't fundamentally reducible to "Because I said so".

The poor godhobbit has failed to rise above the level of the morons present at every sporting event who flash a "John 3:16" placard and feel like they've done their bit to covert the masses.

I don't think he's capable of better.

Why doesn't God compel a Jesuit to come and do battle here?
At least he'd be armed with eloquence and wit instead of this braindead pedantry.

Probably provide some good liquor as well.

What would you like to know.

I didn't see you posting "covert" btw.

[chalice]

I attended a party last night that featured a single malt tasting comparison.

I must admit that after the fifth or so sample, they all tasted mighty fine.

Not so big on the Buckfast though (never having tried it before...).

Where I live at the moment- Lurgan NI- Buckfast is known as Lurgan Champagne.

It is cheap and nasty as fuck. Nowhere else in NI are they compelled to this Whore's Piss. They sell it in optics at the local bar and everything.

Once, when the beer shops didn't open on a Sunday In NI, you could see a queue outside the Sunday chemist because they sold Buckfast.

It's a tonic wine fermented by Monks in some god-fersakin place.

[Sextent]

I attended a party last night that featured a single malt tasting comparison.

I must admit that after the fifth or so sample, they all tasted mighty fine.

Not so big on the Buckfast though (never having tried it before...).

Where I live at the moment- Lurgan NI- Buckfast is known as Lurgan Champagne.

It is cheap and nasty as fuck. Nowhere else in NI are they compelled to this Whore's Piss. They sell it in optics at the local bar and everything.

Once, when the beer shops didn't open on a Sunday In NI, you could see a queue outside the Sunday chemist because they sold Buckfast.

It's a tonic wine fermented by Monks in some god-fersakin place.

Called Buckfast Abbey

[chalice]

Yep.

Great name for a collection of monks, that.

[Sextent]

How the fuck do they come up with them.

[clocker]

What would you like to know.

Which version of the Bible is a heathen supposed to accept as the word of God?





And, where's the Scotch?