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Thread: How To Get To Heaven When You Die

  1. #331
    Sextent's Avatar Version Five
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    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala View Post
    What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven?
    Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

  2. Lounge   -   #332
    Sextent's Avatar Version Five
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    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala View Post
    ... parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

  3. Lounge   -   #333
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala View Post
    Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

    How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?!
    I imagine religious people on both sides of the fence (jews/christians) have fairly similar views of the other lots' chances of salvation.

    Just look to your own, yeah?

  4. Lounge   -   #334
    tralalala's Avatar The Almighty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sextent;
    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala;
    What happens if one is Jew and wants to go to heaven?
    Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.
    Why? The guy you believe did all those thingies and told all those tales and stories (I'm going according to Billy Connoly's Crucifixion sketch) - Was jew himself.. Why not follow him all the way and becometh a Jeweth as welleth? Obviously he was doin something right getting a billion people to be loik him.

  5. Lounge   -   #335
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala View Post
    Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

    How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?!
    As far as I can see the original Jeebus was Jewish and spoke only to Jews - it kind of got out of hand after his death. So he must have been talking about a Jewish heaven. We only get in on default. I think he compared us to dogs getting scraps at the master's table as I recollect. *random smilie usage - never seen this one before*. So I reckon you have first shout although frodosexytime will no doubt tell us there are conditions and small print.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  6. Lounge   -   #336
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sextent;

    Piece of cake, convert to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.
    Why? The guy you believe did all those thingies and told all those tales and stories (I'm going according to Billy Connoly's Crucifixion sketch) - Was jew himself.. Why not follow him all the way and becometh a Jeweth as welleth? Obviously he was doin something right getting a billion people to be loik him.
    You don' really have a very firm grasp of what christianity entails, do you?

  7. Lounge   -   #337
    Quote Originally Posted by Sextent View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by FatBob View Post

    merry xmas .

    why is christ called christ ?

    isnt he Yeshu of Nazareth ?

    where did this name jesus christ came from ?

    you could have called him timmy


    His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

    So he was Jesus, The Messiah.
    Quote Originally Posted by Biggles View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sextent View Post

    His Given name was Jesus and Christ means Messiah.

    So he was Jesus, The Messiah.
    Yeshu was a fairly popular name - it could just as easily have been Timmy the Messiah
    oh ok .

  8. Lounge   -   #338
    Quote Originally Posted by tralalala View Post
    Invented what? Jeebus was the one who walked on water (shallow water) and parted a fish between 5 thousand people (a whale obviously).

    How do I, a Jew, get to heaven?!
    jesus(jesus'ses) dad makes all the decisions , and he is jew

  9. Lounge   -   #339
    why doesnt timmies talk about jesuses dad ?

    no dad = no son you know

  10. Lounge   -   #340
    Sextent's Avatar Version Five
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    Of course Christians talk about Jesus' Dad as well, he's God like. Kind of pops up the odd time.

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