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Thread: Adjusting to Married Life

  1. #1
    Eytan's Avatar AddicTed_To_ATB BT Rep: +2
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    A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love with his new bride, couldn't wait to go out on the town drinking with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."
    "Where are you going, sweetheart?" asked the wife.
    "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think to say was, "Yes, my little angel, ...but at the bar, ...you know, ...they have frozen glasses and..."
    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took of many huge beer mugs out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't belong."
    "I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
    "You want hors d'oeuvres, my love?" She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, stuffed mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
    "But sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
    "You want dirty words, dear?... "LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR F$#KING BEER IN YOUR GOD-DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERF$#KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A$$HOLE?!?"
    ...And, they lived happily ever after.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Sounds just like my first wife.

    Minus the beer, frozen mugs, appetizers and happily ever after.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    ilya's Avatar Proud Israeli BT Rep: +6BT Rep +6
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    Sound like the women of my dreams


  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Adama's Avatar Xtreme User BT Rep: +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100BT Rep +100
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    very very funny

    ...And, they lived happily ever after.



  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    IceTee's Avatar Fo'shizzle my nizzle BT Rep: +2
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    nice one

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