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Thread: You are going to hate me for this

  1. #1
    lynx's Avatar .
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    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

    Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son t o drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!'

    The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.


    The bar goes wild.. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, 'Take another drink! Take another drink!!' The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.


    By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos..


    The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left, then to the right, then staggers right through the front door into the street where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.


    The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

    *
    *

    *

    *


    (Wait for it)

    *
    *

    *

    *

    (It's coming)

    *
    *

    *

    *

    ( ready?)

    *
    *

    *

    *

    (Don't hate me)

    *
    *

    *

    *

    (You're going to hate me)

    *
    *

    *

    *

    (Take a deep breath)

    *
    *

    *
    *

    'He should've quit while he was a head!'
    .
    Political correctness is based on the principle that it's possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    AmpeD's Avatar the o'lol factor BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    pun of the day!

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Aaxel21's Avatar AHHHHH!
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    Ouch... lol
    Remember bullets always have the right of way.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Yikes.

    Just yikes.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Poster
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    oooooooooouuuuuuuucccccchhhhhh

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    sleepyy's Avatar Old-Fashioned BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    Very good thank you

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    MaynardKeenan's Avatar Member BT Rep: +3
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    hehe, nice one

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    10 HUT! BT Rep: +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35BT Rep +35
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    I like this one.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    ohhhhhhhhhh dear

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    mera's Avatar Member BT Rep: +14BT Rep +14BT Rep +14
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    LoL poor guy


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