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Thread: Pragmatism gone mad.

  1. #1
    Chip Monk's Avatar Darth Monk Like.
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    Glasgow Mortuary

    A man who just died is delivered to a Glasgow mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

    Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.

    The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue. She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

    The woman returns the next day. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Tam, "Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

    To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque. "Nae charge", he says. "No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says. "Honestly, hen", Tam says, "it didnae cost nothin. You see, a deid gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit insteed, and she said it made nae difference as long as he looked nice. So, I just switched their heids."
    You do not need to see my I.D.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    ===

    How particularly pleasant it is to see you among the bored. I read your notes in the mornings but I fear we have become akin to ships that pass in the night.

    Please tell me, without further adieu, that you do not tailor the time you spend here to coincide with the long hours in which I must be away. For that is something I could not bear.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Chip Monk's Avatar Darth Monk Like.
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    Fuck sake, have you caught gay as well. That Grim laddie coming out the other night must have been contagiuous

    I have mostly been having to work and stuff. We are in the process of doing a thing, which makes it unavoidable.

    I wile away the evening hours reading your own works of the day and often have a chuckle. Mayhap in the not too distant future I will be on board during the hours of daylight and we can have some on-line intercourse.
    You do not need to see my I.D.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    This is preposterous.


    (testing new words)

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    Quote Originally Posted by 100% View Post
    This is preposterous.


    (testing new words)
    I'm pretty sure I've heard that one used before. Sorry.



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    The FST Last.fm group

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Preposterous sorry doesn't really work Skizster.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    Get a room is what I say

    BTW, only two sleeps and I'm going Las Vegas! Yeeehhaaaa

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skweeky View Post
    Get a room is what I say

    BTW, only two sleeps and I'm going Las Vegas! Yeeehhaaaa
    Do you need to go back to get it annulled, now he's bairned you. I thought you could do that by post.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    Naw, our friends are getting married over there on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise. They're having a Klingon wedding ceremony. I'm the bridesmaid and Gem's the best man.

    After that we're going to LA and San Fransisco as well.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    Mr JP Fugley's Avatar Frog Shoulder BT Rep: +4
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    Ace, have the funnest of fun times.
    "there is nothing misogynistic about anything, stop trippin.
    i type this way because im black and from nyc chill son "

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