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Thread: Skweeky's American holiday

  1. #1
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    Arrived in Vegas on Saturday the 5th of April around 5PM. Since our friends, Niall and Alison, were there to get married we decided to hire a limo to get to the hotel so we could arrive in style.
    Halfway out of the airport we realise that the boot of the car doesn't actually shut properly. It is an adventurous trip down the strip. Luckily no luggage is lost.
    When checking into the hotel I realise that Nevada still allows smoking in its casinos. At the moment I can't stand the smell of smoking so people look at me funny when I am walking to my room whilst gagging most of the time. The room is a 20 minute walk from the front desk

    Wake up at 1AM and we decide it's time to go out for a drink. Everyone gets drunk except me. Highlight of my evening is a vanilla milkshake at Stripburger

    Spent next day in bed due to severe morning sickness. Can barely hold down anything and am worried about dehydration. Consider phoning hotel doctor, then realise am in America and will probably have to wait 48 hours before I can be seen to.

    On Monday Alison's mum and a friend turn up unexpectedly so we decide to go out for a pre-wedding meal in the evening. We end up in a place called 'America' in New York New York. I have a sparkling water and everyone else orders steak. When the steak comes out it's black. Have argument with rude waiter and we give him only a 5 % tip. Ha! That'll teach him.

    Tuesday is wedding day. We all went down to the Hilton and meet up with the Klingon who is performing the wedding ceremony. She is wearing some sort of skin made from creatures that live only on Vulcan. True story.
    Niall's friend Ewan, who works for Nasa, is appointed photographer. This is the moment we all realise that computer geeks have no common sense whatsoever and I whisk away the camera after he takes pictures with the lens cap still on the camera.
    Niall and Ali get married on the bridge of the starship Enterprise. there's a real life Ferengi as well!
    After that we all get treated to 'The Star Trek Experience'. The special effect are absolutely stunning and it's really quite scary when a Borg chases us down a corridor We also meet Stephen Fry who is doing a dcoumentary out there!
    The wedding meal is to take place in Quark's bar. However, morning sickness strikes again, and after being sick in a bin I go back to the hotel and spend the rest of the day asleep while everyone else goes out partying.

    On Wednesday I wake up with a dripping nose and one eye swollen shut. I discover that there are pollen in the desert also and I am hopelessly allergic to them. Go to the chemist and am advised I can't take any anti-histamine due to baby in belly. I make do with a saline spray. I doesn't work.

    In the afternoon we pick up the car from the airport. It's the biggest thing I've ever seen and it's bright orange. And it does about 20 miles to the gallon. We don't care as petrol is under $4/gallon in the US.
    The drive from Las Vegas to LA is pretty uneventful. I stay in the car at all times as the airco seems to diminish the effects of the pollen a little bit. Also, I am to sick to get up and walk.
    We drive past a ghost town. Entry fee is $5. Robbers. Decide not to go in.

    Arrive in LA in the evening. We're staying in an area called Anaheim and the hotel is literally right accross from Disneyland. Gem, Niall and Ali go out for ribs. I decide to stay in the room after being sick again.

    Get up early the next day and decide to go and have a look at Hollywood boulevard, Sunset etc before we head down the Pacific Coast highway.
    I have never seen such a dive in my life. The streets are full of crazy people. One woman in a wheelchair tries to convince us that her ratty dog used to be a sniffer dog
    She then gets up and walks to the bathroom. Hmmmm

    After a look at Santa Monica beach we head down the Pacific Coast Highway for some of the most amazing views. We stop for the night in a little place called Pismo Beach. The motel smells of curry. In a bad way. I rub Vick under my nose to stop me smelling it. It doesn't work and I sleep for about 3 hours, waking up to be sick inbetween.
    The sunset on the beach was absolutely stunning though.

    Next day we do the rest of our drive to San Fransisco. The allergy seems to have cleared. We stop for lunch at the 'Whale watcher's cafe' and see whales, sea lions and some pretty amazing birds. What a fantastic experience!
    Later on in the day we stop at Carmel and sit on a secluded beach for a little while. The waves are realy quite big and dangerous and we see more seals and sea lions! Pretty amazing stuff.

    We get to San Francisco and the hotel recommends a Chinese restaurant round the corner for the dinner. The food is exquisite and there's so much!
    The next day we walk through China Town and go to Pier 39. We have lunch in a cafe that looks out over the colony of sea lions that lives there. Smelly buggers!
    Next day we go down to the beach to get a tan and we check out the Russian area.
    The next two days morning sickness strikes again and I spent most of the time in my hotel room Niall and Ali go and see some redwoods and a woman gets killed by a branch falling off one of them!
    The last day we go down to the golden gate beach area and have our last lunch in a lovely beach bistro.

    At the airport I get picked for an additional security check yet again. This has happened to me at every single airport in the States so far. I wonder if they think Belgium is in the Middle East or something. I have to stand in some sort of booth and air gets blown all over me. Then I am asked to sit in a waiting area when some scary looking woman puts on rubber gloves and opens a big jar
    She goes through all my stuff and then lets me go. Al this takes about 15 minutes.

    Flight home is a nightmare. I can't stop being sick and I have sciatic pain in both my legs. When we arrive at Heathrow there is a delay because the smoke alarms in Terminal 1 keep going off.
    Finally get home yesterday at 7 PM. Spent most of my time asleep since
    I think everyone else really enjoyed it

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    What an absolutely fantastic post.

    Many thanks, Skweeks, I truly enjoyed that, even if most of it was Schadenfreude.

    Fair fucks to you and your newly acquired hubby.

    Truly brill.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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  4. Lounge   -   #4
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Pics?
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    The Vomit Tours

    The in between bits sound like a blast though.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  6. Lounge   -   #6
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Especially pics of you vomiting on sea lions.
    Those would be good.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by clocker View Post
    Especially pics of you vomiting on sea lions.
    Those would be good.
    That actually would be fantastic.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  8. Lounge   -   #8
    dedro's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +6BT Rep +6
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    pch is nice...great post thanks

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    Will post pics as soon as I get them uploaded. There's like 700 or something

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skweeky View Post
    Will post pics as soon as I get them uploaded. There's like 700 or something
    Those poor Sea Lions!
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


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