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Thread: Crabgirl's Wine Poem Thread

  1. #1
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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    As promised...

    ========================================

    Champagne, Merlot or Beaujolais Nouveau,
    Port wine or Riesling, Cognac or Bordeaux.
    Chianti or Shiraz or white Zinfandel,
    Armagnac, Burgundy or Sauvignon Blanc.
    I know all about wine, I'm quite the connoisseur,
    I'll tell you all about them, 'til my words begin to slur.
    Drinking wine is good for you it doesn't make you queer,
    And you don't get the massive gut you get from drinking beer.
    When I drink my wine, I'm cool, sophisticated,
    Even though my liver's getting dry and dessicated.
    I like to drink wine and I drink it every night,
    Even though when I wake up my mouth tastes like shite.

    ===============================================

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    Mulder that is so very beautiful.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Squeamous's Avatar Poster
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    Where is the old cow anyway?

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    Quote Originally Posted by 100% View Post
    Mulder that is so very beautiful.
    thanks, took ages

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    CrabGirl's Avatar Sexpest
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    Heres my final draft and they can choke on it. I'm going to submit Barbs anonymously and see if it wins anything. If it wins any wine Babs I'll send it to you.

    Vitis smartipantis

    The vine is an academic.
    It provides a translation between dry dusty
    geography and mouthful flavour.
    Soil, stones and slopes become
    lush fruit flavors, plump and fleshy.
    Sharp minerals, bonded for time with the earth
    are released in a heady aromatic nose.

    The vine is an historian. Feet rooted in the dust of ages
    watching the march of armies across changing borders
    in soil sharp with the salt-tang of spilt blood and youth spent.

    The vine is an old fashioned explorer.
    Marching up unfamiliar mountains overlooking different seas.
    Showing resilience and bravery by besting pests and punishing winds
    and sleeping under soperific blankets of sweetening mists

    The vine is an inspirational linguist,
    swirling words around the mouth,
    tongue-teased by malvasia, rondinella, sciacarello,
    Cheeks sucked in and gums dried by zweigelt, rotgipfler, krstač.
    and of course, Gewertztraminer....

    I reckon the damn vine payed more attention at school than I did.
    This pump dispenses gasoline, a fossil fuel. People who believe fossils are not real should put something else in their tanks.

    .

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    you spellited Gewürztraminer wwrong. (according to ghoghle).(did not know wtf it was)



    "The vine is an academic."

    Your explanation of an "academic" in this context is;
    aromatic, dusty, earth, plump
    seems incorrect, ontop of which academic seems elitist, which it is not if you can relate to any of your frequent wine bacchanals.

    first line could be changed to...

    The earth it has a vine,
    a translation of a mouthful of flavor
    embedded with dusty geography
    etc




    You start with the core and go onto the swirl around the tongue
    would nice if it went further to so called development of earth into the mind.(aka mulder poem)

    just a thought

    sorry


  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    do a poewim about mojitos.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    CrabGirl's Avatar Sexpest
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    Quote Originally Posted by 100% View Post
    you spellited Gewürztraminer wwrong. (according to ghoghle).(did not know wtf it was)



    "The vine is an academic."

    Your explanation of an "academic" in this context is;
    aromatic, dusty, earth, plump
    seems incorrect, ontop of which academic seems elitist, which it is not if you can relate to any of your frequent wine bacchanals.

    first line could be changed to...

    The earth it has a vine,
    a translation of a mouthful of flavor
    embedded with dusty geography
    etc




    You start with the core and go onto the swirl around the tongue
    would nice if it went further to so called development of earth into the mind.(aka mulder poem)

    just a thought

    sorry

    Sorry. You are missing the point of the poem. Thanks for the critical analysis though.
    This pump dispenses gasoline, a fossil fuel. People who believe fossils are not real should put something else in their tanks.

    .

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    CrabGirl's Avatar Sexpest
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder View Post
    do a poewim about mojitos.
    There once was a young man called mulder,
    who'd drink all the Mojitoes he could.
    When he was done
    he went looking for bumfun
    because sucking cawks gave him wood.
    This pump dispenses gasoline, a fossil fuel. People who believe fossils are not real should put something else in their tanks.

    .

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    brotherdoobie's Avatar Long live Hissyfit BT Rep: +1
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrabGirl View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Mulder View Post
    do a poewim about mojitos.
    There once was a young man called mulder,
    who'd drink all the Mojitoes he could.
    When he was done
    he went looking for bumfun
    because sucking cawks gave him wood.
    Harsh.


    -bd

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