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Thread: Chewing Gum & Peanut Butter

  1. #1
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    Gave my kid one of his fav ice creams yesterday cause i had to extremely stretch his bed time, all for his pleasure, kiddy party etc It was great.
    Long walk home.

    inside the ice cream is a stick

    the stick is made of chewing gum.




    This morning my Beloved Fornication partner comes in and says he has Chewing gum SERIOUSLY stuck in his hair

    & WTF is my kid doing with chewing gum when he goes to sleep?





    I inspect the damage,
    it is like serious gaddawnm damage.





    I prophesied his future, either;

    a: His head would be eaten alive by all the kids in the kindergarten, and worshiped as the kid with the hair made of sweets. :ihavetheshine:

    b: Trauma, Bullying, snd in the end a life as a burger flipper (cause they wear hats).

    She comes in with scissors and a comb, as if on a mission instincted upon her from her post grandmoms trauma inflicting solutions.


    This is way too much text for lounge to handle, must kill the drama here.

    Last edited by 100%; 06-25-2008 at 12:26 PM.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Shave the kid's head. Show him holocaust pictures.

    Tell him that this is what happens when you fall asleep chewing gum.

    Too harsh?

    Probably.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Something Else's Avatar sex a wolf in a bag BT Rep: +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70
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    Can't you freeze it off or something else.

    Poor likkle Pedro. We've all done it once and learned our lesson.
    If it happens a second time then you can start worrying.


  4. Lounge   -   #4
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    How old is he now btw?

    It feels like it was just yesterday that you were 99%, anxiously waiting for your wife (gf? just a friend?) to burst.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    brotherdoobie's Avatar Long live Hissyfit BT Rep: +1
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    My eldest daughter was notorious for getting gum stuck in her hair when she was little. She used to get those round hair brushes tangled in her hair, also (that is a nightmare in and of itself).

    Shave it. Shave it all. I was going to shave Paige's hair the last time it happened. My wife tried kicking me in the balls. It was a very long night. I was just being practical ffs.

    -bd
    Last edited by brotherdoobie; 06-25-2008 at 02:12 AM.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Squeamous's Avatar Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by benchez View Post
    Can't you freeze it off or something else.

    Poor likkle Pedro. We've all done it once and learned our lesson.
    If it happens a second time then you can start worrying.
    Yes, put his head in the freezer for a few hours...that should do it

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    Shave it. The kid is like two years old at the most, right?

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    He is now 2 years & 10.7 months old
    or
    1055 days old




    yes i thought of that too,

    except

    we just forked out 300 kr a week ago + screaming for his hair to be cut.
    (rastafarians tended to offer chilms to him)



    I decided to call upon...



    THE ALMIGHTY

    Spoiler: Show


    before scalping him




    Ze Almighty explained that one should use;


    • -alcohol ( after-shave might do)
    • -peanut butter
    • -mayonnaise
    • -egg
    • -vinegar (too good quality for him)
    • - nail varnish (not available)wife has no nails after i removed them).
    • -oil
    • -ice (freeze it & break it)
    • -different types of soap
    • cut it out, shave head


    Peanut Butter?
    WTF?



    and not even the crunchy type which tastes better is more nutritious,
    Elvis is dead, get over it.



    Fuck them.

    I am not going to smear peanut butter on his little screaming head and then start ripping out the gum, only to then wash his hair which he hates even more.






    I then remembered the arsenal of seriously toxic shit in my boudoir, stuff that even aliens wimper from.





    Next to the bottle of phorensic lemon scented acetone lube, was a forgotten bottle of bionafta which is an ecofriendly disolvant and yet EVEN sooths.





    Poured it on the external gum tumor



    waited
    poured more
    waited




    It dissolved somewhat, became more crispy,



    success!!




    got off some bits, it went easish



    He started to get annoyed, and finally started screaming .



    gave him a break
    and me too




    then

    WENT HARDCORE ON HIM






    had to pin him down.




    He sent me to HELL and worse.




















    One hour later





    he was at kindergarten, all fresh and new.






    .
    Last edited by 100%; 06-25-2008 at 11:57 AM.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Something Else's Avatar sex a wolf in a bag BT Rep: +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70
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    Quality post. He's in good hands.

    Why did you remove your wifey's fingernails.


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