Threat of death and expulsion for stealing a bit of bread

**ilw** · 07-15-2008, 09:18 PM

A student has received death threats and faces possible expulsion for stealing a cracker and "holding it hostage". Sounds a bit batshit insane i know, but a priest had waved his hands at it a bit and said a few words at it, so it was a proper special bit of cracker.

Regardless of the reason, the Diocese says its main concern is to get the Eucharist [cracker] back so it can be taken care of properly and with respect. Cook has been keeping the Eucharist stored in a plastic bag since last Sunday.

"It is hurtful," said Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese. "Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."

Don't open spoiler if offended by pictures of mohammed or jesus. For context some/many catholics believe the cracker is the actual body of christ

Spoiler: Show

**bigboab** · 07-15-2008, 09:30 PM

Maybe it was a Chist Mass cracker.

**Squeamous** · 07-15-2008, 09:57 PM

The cracker doesn't become the body of Christ until you swallow it.

I know, I can't believe I said that in all seriousness either

.

**bigboab** · 07-16-2008, 08:08 AM

Someone please tell me this whole thing is a joke. If you take the biscuit uneaten out of the church and preserve it you are possibly going to be expelled from school.

If you eat it and turn it into shit and flush it down the drain, that is OK.

**ilw** · 07-16-2008, 07:59 PM

apparently the cracker can be used for satanic / black magic purposes so this incident is super serious. Fortunately we can all breathe easy as it has been returned and an armed guard (I kid you not) has been put on patrol outside the church during mass to prevent any reoccurrance.

Or is the cracker really safe? There is speculation that the returned cracker is an elaborate fake, tests have proved inconclusive as jesus apparently tastes very much like a normal cracker.