Dear Biggles,
Your overwhelming niceness is quite annoying.
Please desist in making a habit of it least I be forced to reciprocate.
Sincerely ,
Use to abuse.
Persona non grata
Dear Biggles,
Your overwhelming niceness is quite annoying.
Please desist in making a habit of it least I be forced to reciprocate.
Sincerely ,
Use to abuse.
____________________
The producers of fucking Wife Swap.Originally Posted by Biggles
Well I wasn't sure at first but as I read on I felt the weight of probability leaned that way.
Spotted that, eh?
Who says men aren't sensitive?
True story.
The Almighty
Dear ESPN -
Why the fuck do you think any of us want to watch the Rock-Paper-Scissors world cup final? Or Fishing? Or log-chopping!?
Either put something decent on or go do something else.
Your truly,
A Real Sports Viewer.
Looking for loopholes
Decades of Civil Service has its drawbacks
I posted this many years ago - I recall Clocker liked it. It is in effect a response to a letter of complaint.
Dear Mr Addison,
I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more-than-prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order.
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we, at the Inland Revenue, have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer, I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised. In common with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see you as a "lackwit bumpkin" or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole.
Which brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores", whilst far more than you have accounted for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system".
A couple of technical points arising from direct queries:
1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system;
2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even if the Personal Allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics involved would make it financially unviable.
I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please forward it by Friday.
Yours sincerely,
H J Lee,
Customer Relations
Last edited by Biggles; 08-31-2008 at 08:31 PM.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum
confuddled?!
lol i like how he used the quotes in that letter
My name is Dan for the people who care!
(_8(I)
Dear Rafi,Dear ESPN -
Why the fuck do you think any of us want to watch the Rock-Paper-Scissors world cup final? Or Fishing? Or log-chopping!?
Either put something decent on or go do something else.
Your truly,
A Real Sports Viewer.
WTF?
Fishing rocks the socks.
Who the fuck doesn't like fishing??
Bill Dance > *
yo
en(un)lightened
Yes, and who's more sensitive than an Inland Revenue accountant.Well I wasn't sure at first but as I read on I felt the weight of probability leaned that way.
Spotted that, eh?
Who says men aren't sensitive?
"Researchers have already cast much darkness on the subject, and if they continue their investigations, we shall soon know nothing at all about it."
-Mark Twain
The Almighty
OMFG you've got to be kidding.. Collecting stamps would be a more interesting sport than fishing.....Dear Rafi,Dear ESPN -
Why the fuck do you think any of us want to watch the Rock-Paper-Scissors world cup final? Or Fishing? Or log-chopping!?
Either put something decent on or go do something else.
Your truly,
A Real Sports Viewer.
WTF?
Fishing rocks the socks.
Who the fuck doesn't like fishing??
Bill Dance > *
Persona non grata
Not if you're the fish.
The Almighty
On the contrary - Fish are well known for having one of the world's last 4 Penny Blacks. Trew story.
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