Letters Of Complaint.

[chalice]

Dear Ron lying cunt Howard,

how comes you're such a lying cunt?

You used your Hollywood brainwashery to fraudulently invest my time and limited empathy. You portrayed yon John Nash fucker in yon Beautiful Mind film as an asexual, socially aloof genius, loved by his angelic wife, plagued by schizophrenia yet ultimately venerable.

When in fucking fact he was a cottaging/hobbyist adulterer, fathering children elsewhere and vanishing into the auspices of Princeton.

Yours in wavering uncertainty,

John Forbes Nash.

Isn't cottaging and fathering weans mutually exclusive?

Not entirely, apparently, Les.

From some reports, it is quite physically possible to impregnate women while harbouring homosexual tendencies and manifesting them via the medium of public toilets.

It's a crazy mixed up world. And that's a fact.

Shut that door.

[CrabGirl]

Dear God of Prawns

Why do you make them so tasty. I think I just ate an entire ecosystem.

Yours

Crabgirl.

[Biggles]

Isn't cottaging and fathering weans mutually exclusive?

Not entirely, apparently, Les.

From some reports, it is quite physically possible to impregnate women while harbouring homosexual tendencies and manifesting them via the medium of public toilets.

It's a crazy mixed up world. And that's a fact.

Shut that door.

Is that a fact!

I forgot about Tom Haggard (sp?)

Oohh! I could peel a grape

[Skweeky]

Dear Riddrie,

kindly erase yourself from the map for one day on September 24th.

Many thanks,

Skweedrive

[JPaul]

Driving test coming up then old bean.

[Skweeky]

Yeah, and Riddrie is the only place where for some reason I can't get the reverse round the corner bit correct because someone thought it would be a good idea to install an actual 90 degree angle corner somewhere

[tralalala]

Your tested on a reverse round the corner?

My test (well, all 3 of them) were literally 10-15 minutes where the tester took me where his heart desired to see if I do something silly.. In fact I didn't on the first 2 but the tester thought it'd be swell to hit the accelerator when my clutch was down, then claim he accelerated and prevented an accident..

[Skweeky]

Yeah, you get tested on two manoeuvres. It could be reverse parking, turn on the road, reverse around the corner or emergency stop. I don't have to do the last one due to being pregnant.

Test lasts 40 minutes. They also ask you stuff about the controls of your car etc...

[JPaul]

You don't have to wear a belt either if memory serves.

[tralalala]

Holy feck that sounds terrible.. 40 minutes!? We do 10-15 minutes then switch (2 tests at a time in the same car..).

And I'm guessing you took your test now so as to slim down the option of manoeuvres to do to 3?

Clever, very clever indeed.. When's your test then?