OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet ...
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as
part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow. "

The next day the man reappeared at the doctors office and gave him
the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked, "What happened?"

The man explained, "Well, doc, its like this. First I tried with my
right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still
nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first
with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even
called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried, too, first with
both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between
her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yes, none of us could get the jar open."