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Life, the Universe and Everything. Inspired by the third book in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It all started back when, in a time long ago lost, back when the kings of and lords of GameFAQs were just little newbies who had just joined. Back then it was against the TOS to discuss ANYTHING vaguely religious or controversial in nature and any of your posts or topics could be promptly deleted just for the sole reason that they might stir up controversy. It wasn�t pleasant. So then, something historic happens. A user named ColdFusion decided to found a secret board called the �debate board� that was a secret place people could go to talk about life, religion, existence, or anything �debatable� they could come up with.The only catch was that it was invitation only and only about 20 to 30 were asked to come, as otherwise it would be flooded with trolls and unreasonable people. The board was very successful with tons of posts asking all kinds of great questions and the smartest people on GameFAQs debating back and forth about all manner of really interesting ideas. Then one day�CJayC posted. It was a shock that he knew about the board. It was mainly a joke, he wasn�t mad, but he made a bold topic that was along the lines of, �What, I own this site and you think I DIDN�T have the means to find out about you guys secret board?� It was then that the concept of a �secret board� was born. They started popping up everywhere once word got out that a secret debate board existed. People couldn�t join the real secret board, so they made their own. Well, eventually, CJayC did a huge rehaul of GameFAQs and decided that debates about religion and existence and such should be allowed, but not on normal social boards. There should be a special place for such things, and so he made the Life, the Universe, and Everything board in an effort to give people who wanted to talk about such things a home. AND, to ensure quality posters, he set a karma requirement for the board too. It was like the small, personal debate board, but on a whole new level. TONS of people were suddenly debating about philosophy and reality (and there were of course the tons and tons of overzealous Christians trying to spread their �word�). LUE was successful beyond CJayC�s wildest imagination. People came for serious, civilized discussion about Life, the Universe, and Everything. The most famous topic of discussion, however, was quantum physics and time travel. An interesting note, during this time, there were different features implemented on Gamefaq�s, such as: � Topics were closed at 1000 posts instead of 500 (it was reduced to 500 because Gamefaq�s got too big) � There was a �search for user� feature, which was eventually removed because too many people abused it to stalk and harass users. � Whenever a topic you posted in got deleted or moved, you�d get a system notification about it. This would read as �One or more topics you posted in was either deleted or moved to another board�. Then LUE degrades somewhat when an online amateur evangelist named WallyWest80 begins preaching the gospel on LUE. There is a horrible backlash, as Atheists become pissed off and talk about how religion sucks, Christianity is evil, theism is obsolete, and theists are subhuman. Agnostics repeatedly tell Wally that his preaching is falling on deaf ears, but Wally disregards their warnings. This gets even worse when Canaan, a fervent supporter of abortion clinic bombing, appears. The board becomes predominated by the religion war, which Knight of the League, who is more or less the polar opposite of Canaan, cashes in on. During this era, many of the old classics are here, such as Beefyweevil, Bonaventure, Canaan, Catharsis, Cthulhu, Dark Cobra, GeasKnight, Hustle Kong, Jar Jar Binks, Mister T, NotoriouslyHUNG, Yamo, and worst of all, Dais. This is also when the first fad comes along, and is also one of the most famous: SCUM WARS. Started by a user named Scum for the occasion, Scumwars was an event where scum-related fad topics filled LUE, and also infected other boards within hours. LUE was filled with page after page of scum topics. In the end, CJayC put an end to this by purging LUE of its topics. Every single one of them. He was successful. Scumwars and the fad
topics came to a quick end. Eventually, WallyWest80 becomes a moderator, and soon ships out of LUE. However, Dais, Aka Christian C has a stranglehold on the board, keeping it in check from becoming a PG13 version of the RI (Random Isanity, the largest GameFaqs socializing board,) much to the annoyance of many, as well as T192 Calculator, whose original and now infamous toilet topic got modded after about 200 posts. Now, Dais saw himself as a sort of �moderators� helper�, though the mods didn�t seem to look at it that way. In fact, WallyWest80 was once witnessed saying that he was just waiting for Dais to slip up so he could suspend/ban him. Apparently, the mods were irked by his arrogance. It is during this era that Andrea Blackheart becomes famous. Late at night, around 12-1 AM BST (board standard time), a few RIers would perform a temporary sneak invasion of LUE then start partying. The whole thing would usually last about an hour (after which the RIers would go back to their own board), where is was marked by Dais and deleted by mods for off-topic another hour-hour and a half later. This may not seem like much, but you must understand that during this time, due to more serious discussions, plus all lighthearted topics getting promptly marked by Dais and deleted. RIers saw LUEsers as a bunch of sourpusses, and would temporarily invade LUE to lighten up the board with fart topics, exploding toilets, and random insanity. Leaky Toilet was among one of the stealth-invaders during this time. Eventually, Dais leaves, which allows less serious topics to cultivate. Every now and then there would be a wang topic, but it was only around 1-2 topics a week that had ANYTHING to do with wangs. This began to increase, however, and LUE started going through a 3-fold phase of sex/masturbation, religion, and misc. serious discussion. At one point, the most profound event in RI history occurs: The GameQueen fiasco. This caused RI to lose its position as the major social board and CE (Current Events) and LUE to rise up. GameQueen was not extremely well liked by the RIers. Rumor has it this is because she was banned for being an underaged user, but Ceej unbanned her on her 13th birthday. She would also make daily girly topics in RI such as �frolics in a field of flowers�, and would prohibit any RIers from attacking her with random useless objects (big thing in RI during the time) or killing any of the cute animals/plants in the topic. In other words, she would post normal topics on RI and would get mad if anyone acted randomly insane in her threads (most of which would get around 100 posts each). People began to criticize her, and some believed she was an underage user. Eventually, a war broke out between two sides, those criticizing GameQueen, and those defending her. Eventually CJayC went into RI to clean the mess up. Some time later, GameQueen and Kusanagi posted a 200+ post, graphic, cybersex [lemon] on a dead game board. RI became furious and disgusted, and marked her. Her first topic was deleted with probably a notification, and that is it. RI became ENRAGED that she was not banned for that fiasco, and all hell broke loose on RI. Many, many RIers complained that GameQueen was not banned. When it was clear that the Ceej and the mods would not ban her, several RIers, including two very respected users, decided to get revenge on Gamequeen by abusing the Automod system. (the Automod system, long since removed after repeated abuse, made things easier for Ceej and mods in that if 20 or more separate users marked the same post, it would be deleted and the creator of said post auto-suspended.) They were successful in auto-suspending GameQueen over a more or less innocent (or borderline at best) post, but CJayC was not fooled. He un-suspended Gamequeen with no penalty and BANNED everyone who abused the automod system, including the two well-respected users. This enraged RIers even further. GameQueen was now being harassed by RIers like never before, and nothing the mods or anyone else said could make them stop, save a banning. They blamed GAMEQUEEN for getting the 25+ people who abused the automod banned, even though CJayC was the only person to have anything to do with their banning (due to the nature of the violation, no marking was possible) Doodleheimer, and The Full Homey were among those who defended GQ� This embittered a large number of the RI
vets, who lashed out at any new face they saw, trolling any topic made by an unfamiliar user name with �It�s Random Insanity, not Random Stupidity� and abusing the word �N00b� to ridiculous proportions for these less-familiar faces. This would usually be followed by *****ing and whining about how �all the vets are gone�, complaining about how �GameQueen got so and so banned�, and how they missed �the Good Ol� days�. At the same time, The Great Magus, during a spell of boredom, wandered into LUE. He was instantly hooked, though RI would still hold a place in his heart. Up until this point, RI always had more posts than LUE and CE combined (keep in mind there was no War on Terrorism, Paranormal/Conspiracy, Another Place, The Hall, Iconia, Idolatry, nor the Forum boards at this time, nobody posted on dead boards, and the only special interest boards in existence were Music, TV&Movies, and Roleplaying and Fanfiction.) Hell, RI often had nearly TWICE the amount of posts LUE and CE had combined. However, this juvenile event alienated many, many RIers from their home board, transforming them into refugees with nowhere to go. After hearing TGM talk about how much fun he had at LUE, many RIers decided to take a look at this board. Displaced after the horrible GameQueen/Sourpuss war, many RIers searched aimlessly for a place of refuge. Many found it in LUE. LUE�s topics soon became even less serious. During this time Jackmama was there, as was Flaming Nun and Managoddess. It was during this time that Impressario made his infamous �Testicular Torsion Awareness Thread�, where he described, in vivid detail, what testicular torsion was, as well as giving his personal account of wrestling such a beast. This was probably the first unbelievably disturbing topic of LUE, leaving dozens if not hundreds of LUEsers mentally scarred and clutching their scrotums in fear and pain. While RI refugees were flooding into LUE, Sw4etEternity appeared and made the original .9999~=1 topic. It�s also around this time that Goatse was discovered, and people in the MBH board were complaining that something be done about the huge amount of links to the Goatse site on LUE, CE, and other social boards. The Relgon/Atheim fad also began in this era. A month or so after the Gamequeen fiaso began, the Spyro the Dragon incident occured. What happened here is that members of the KOS crew as well as some new recruits (about to be KOSed but had accounts at the time) hacked into Spyro the Dragon�s account, belonging to a female user whose usermap was linked to countless other users, including DarthMaul, the 2nd highest karma user at the time. Spyro�s account was on the 2nd largest usermap at the time, only a bit behind Scum. During discussion of it on MBH, the KOS crew mysteriously all arrived. Some of them were laughing about how funny the event was, another made it clear that the whole plot was posted on the Outboards. Another thing worth mentioning is that the Automod system was removed during this chapter. The Automod was the automated moderation system. Basically, if 20 or more users marked the same post, it would be deleted by an automated moderation system and the person marked would be automatically suspended. Some users (who got a KOS {Kill on Sight}for these shenanigans) marked CJayC into suspension, and at one time did the same to Sailor Bacon, who was a former mod. During this time, there were plenty of hilarious topics as well as serious topics (�The Drug Topic� was especially popular) One such example is the series (up to 15) �Questions about Love� topics. Annoying to look at on the topic list, but a godsend nonetheless, as it kept the stupid �girl trouble� questions concentrated to a single topic (for the most part) On April 4, 2002, JarJarBinks made a topic called �Okay, blueballs, owww�. In it, he feared at first that he gave himself testicular torsion from whacking too much, but it turned out that he merely gave himself blueballs. This caused The Great Magus to create the �We�ve secretly switched JarJarBink�s testicles with folger�s crystals, let�s see if he notices the difference� topic, which was deleted a few hours later. April 18 was the anniversary of the first Scum Wars, and to celebrate, some of those involved with the first (including the elusive Scum) flooded LUE with Scum topics. Few people saw this, however, since the mods cleaned it up in less than an hour after it started. Programmer also appeared during this time, with several hilarious but
completely fabricated topics. Among his different personas were: is a mother who hides in her son�s closet and discovers him whacking to internet porn a teenage girl who has her first period in the pool in a highschool swimming class a woman in her 20�s who got fired for looking at interracial porn on the comp. at work a young homosexual male who is dying from AIDS, asking for pity a teenage boy who had sex with his sensei�s daughter a kid who protects his bike from being stolen by six punks, but the consequence was getting molested by them a guy in his 20�s who had sex with his boss�s wife This left Programmer�s age and gender a complete mystery. At the same time came one of the first fads, the Relgon and Atheim fad. Like most fads of their time, they originated from fad topics and posts used to mock a serious topic somebody thought was stupid.It was also around this time that the Harlequin Fetus was discovered (Tubgirl was added early to mid chapter 4) as well as the dolphin sex site.Many ended up making spoofs of �I just found something worse than the Fetus!� A few weeks later, CJayC turned Goatse into an autoflagged word. Many non-luesers and LUEsers alike protested on the MBH board that Tubgirl was not autoflagged as well. The LUEsers protested, saying Tubgirl and Harlequin Fetus deserved equal recognition as Goatse. Ceej caved in a few weeks later and made both Tubgirl and Worksucks autoflagged words. Worksucks was a nasty Javascript website which caused endless popups of Hello.jpg to pop up (the Goatse pic) while a voice booms loudly and continuously, �Hey, look everyone, I�m looking at gay porno!!!� Also during this era, Shinigami02 posted her pic for Thanksgiving. She quickly became the most popular female LUEser by far. She was an atheist, wasn�t prude, was kind and gentle, she had PICS. NOW. which were sexy, etc. She was every LUEser�s dream. Another major event was Dark Cobra�s mother finding out he posted anti-Christian things on LUE which was filled with religion hating Atheists, as well as posting on the C64 Sex Games board (she snooped around his favorites to see what he had been up to. He was forbidden from visiting Gamefaq�s ever again. He ignored her, of course, and got on while visiting his dad and twin brother. Around this time, DC became extremely angsty and religion-hating. His parents still didn�t know he was Atheist. A few months later, however, his mom found out he was Atheist and grounded for the entire summer from the internet (he has severe social anxiety disorder and despises humankind). Originally, she had intended to ground him until he became Christian again AND take away his college tuition until he became Christian again� Most of the Atheists and Agnostics on LUE felt sorry for him, and also lamented his disappearance, as he was known to make a lot of witty comments, despite his morose disposition and extreme angst against religion. He was also the founder of the catchphrase �How strangely erotic�. On the anniversary of Scumwars, Scum started making scum-related fad topics. A bit later, somebody made a topic entitled �Women are scum�. A female LUEser retaliated with the topic �Men are shallow�. At the same time, somebody made a popular topic �If a hot chick passed out naked on your bed, what would you do?� People began mocking the first two topics because they found them to be overgeneralizing and stupid. Soon this became a huge fad with over 50 fad posts. non-LUEsers were
baffled. One of the final fad posts was Jackmama�s �If scum passed out on your bed, is Minnie Mouse shallow?� This was Scum Wars part 2. The next morning, everyone was discussing how much fun they had last night and how many moderations they got. Unfortunately, this started the fad of fad topics. People tried to repeat what happened that night for the next week or so, but the magic simply wasn�t there. The fad topics continued to worsen, until 19 out of 20 topics on LUE were meaningless fad topics. The motivation was usually the same�somebody found the topic to be stupid or generalizing and mocked it with another topic, causing a chain reaction. While many LUEsers found the spin-off topics to be amusing, many others found them to be quite irksome, especially since Ceej had yet to implement the search feature. Many LUEsers became fed up with the meaningless fad topics and protested to the MBH and Site Suggestions board, pleading that fad topics be against the TOS. In the meantime, Flaming Nun got himself banned. He was the first user ever to LUEicide. Many lamented his banning. It was a dark day for LUE. Eventually, CJayC had enough and put his foot down, adding fad topics to the �disruptive� section of the TOS. He also implemented a 75 karma requirement for LUE, and prohibited provisional and warned users from entering social boards.
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Originally Posted by puckface
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