Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Page 1 of 8 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 71

Thread: Fun With Cybersex

  1. #1
    Poster
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Canada B.C
    Posts
    307
    Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a ***** anyway.
    Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

    ---------------

    Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKateK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate:Who are you?
    Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
    Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
    Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
    Bloodninja:How did you know?
    Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKateooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate:What the f**k?
    DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
    DirtyKate:F**k

    ------------------

    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.

    -------

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't **** with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    ----------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ******* charge your ***.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ***.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: **** am I hard now.

    -------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA:
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: OheminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

    ------------


    sweet17: Hi
    bloodninja: hello
    bloodninja: who is this?
    sweet17: just a someone?
    bloodninja: A someone I know?
    sweet17: nope
    bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    sweet17: well sorrrrrry
    sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
    bloodninja: why?
    sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
    bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
    sweet17: yes?
    bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    sweet17: paranoid?
    bloodninja: yes
    sweet17: of what?
    sweet17: me?
    bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
    sweet17: LOL
    bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
    bloodninja: This **** is serious!
    sweet17: What are you hiding from?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: gimme a ******* break
    bloodninja: I'm serious.
    sweet17: I don't get it
    bloodninja: The cops are after me.
    sweet17: For what?
    bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
    sweet17: For???
    bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
    bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You are ******* sick.
    bloodninja: Send me your picture.
    sweet17: why?
    bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
    sweet17: One of what?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
    bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
    sweet17: hold on
    bloodninja: Hurry up.
    bloodninja: Are you there?
    bloodninja: **** you, cop!
    sweet17: Hey sorry
    sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
    bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    bloodninja: Weren't you!?
    sweet17: thats not it
    bloodninja: Then what?
    sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    bloodninja: Most cops aren't
    sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
    bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
    sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
    bloodninja: Just send it through here.
    sweet17: alright *PIC*
    sweet17: Did you get it?
    bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
    sweet17: That was me back in may
    sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    sweet17: what?!?
    sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
    bloodninja: Did it?
    sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    sweet17: yes
    bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
    sweet17: kks
    bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    sweet17: this isn't you.
    bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    sweet17: You don't look like that.
    bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
    sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
    bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
    bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
    sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
    sweet17: Go **** yourself
    bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
    bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
    sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
    sweet17: you hurt me.
    bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
    bloodninja: Why would I do that?
    sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
    bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    sweet17: **** YOU!!!
    bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
    sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
    sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: No you aren't
    bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
    bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
    sweet17: I'm done with you
    bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
    bloodninja: Wait a sec
    bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
    bloodninja: Wanna start over?
    sweet17: No
    bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
    sweet17: You'll what?
    bloodninja: You heard me.
    bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
    sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
    sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
    bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
    sweet17: Like what?
    bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
    sweet17: I don't know
    bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
    sweet17: I'm afraid to
    bloodninja: Why?
    sweet17: cause
    bloodninja: cause why?
    sweet17: well lets see
    sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
    bloodninja: Nope
    sweet17: well its strange to me
    bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    sweet17: I didn't say that
    bloodninja: So is that a yes?
    sweet17: I guess so.
    bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    bloodninja: Are you willing?
    sweet17: What do you need me to do?
    bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
    sweet17: ???
    bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    bloodninja: ok?
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You can't be serious
    bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
    bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
    sweet17: this is retarded
    bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
    sweet17: Yes I want it.
    bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
    sweet17: sure
    bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
    bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
    bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
    sweet17: mmmm yeah
    bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
    sweet17: Har
    bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
    bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
    sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
    bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
    bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: HARRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: this is stupid
    bloodninja: ...still limp
    bloodninja: Do it!
    sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17: WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
    sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
    bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
    bloodninja: ...going limp again.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    bloodninja: Say it!
    bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    OFN

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    3,597
    ummmm.... ummm..... ummm.... I think I gotta call council on this one...

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    O god my sides were aching the whole time i read this funny shit. Lmao, nice piece ya made, were the diolouges with other peeps or did u write em up? Either way man that shit was fuckn hilarious

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Inevitable's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    360
    Originally posted by jubei_yagyu@13 September 2003 - 06:47
    Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a ***** anyway.
    Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

    ---------------

    Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKateK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate:Who are you?
    Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
    Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
    Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
    Bloodninja:How did you know?
    Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKateooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate:What the f**k?
    DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
    DirtyKate:F**k

    ------------------

    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.

    -------

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't **** with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    ----------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ******* charge your ***.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ***.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: **** am I hard now.

    -------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA:
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: OheminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

    ------------


    sweet17: Hi
    bloodninja: hello
    bloodninja: who is this?
    sweet17: just a someone?
    bloodninja: A someone I know?
    sweet17: nope
    bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    sweet17: well sorrrrrry
    sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
    bloodninja: why?
    sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
    bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
    sweet17: yes?
    bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    sweet17: paranoid?
    bloodninja: yes
    sweet17: of what?
    sweet17: me?
    bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
    sweet17: LOL
    bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
    bloodninja: This **** is serious!
    sweet17: What are you hiding from?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: gimme a ******* break
    bloodninja: I'm serious.
    sweet17: I don't get it
    bloodninja: The cops are after me.
    sweet17: For what?
    bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
    sweet17: For???
    bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
    bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You are ******* sick.
    bloodninja: Send me your picture.
    sweet17: why?
    bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
    sweet17: One of what?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
    bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
    sweet17: hold on
    bloodninja: Hurry up.
    bloodninja: Are you there?
    bloodninja: **** you, cop!
    sweet17: Hey sorry
    sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
    bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    bloodninja: Weren't you!?
    sweet17: thats not it
    bloodninja: Then what?
    sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    bloodninja: Most cops aren't
    sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
    bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
    sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
    bloodninja: Just send it through here.
    sweet17: alright *PIC*
    sweet17: Did you get it?
    bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
    sweet17: That was me back in may
    sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    sweet17: what?!?
    sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
    bloodninja: Did it?
    sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    sweet17: yes
    bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
    sweet17: kks
    bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    sweet17: this isn't you.
    bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    sweet17: You don't look like that.
    bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
    sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
    bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
    bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
    sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
    sweet17: Go **** yourself
    bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
    bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
    sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
    sweet17: you hurt me.
    bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
    bloodninja: Why would I do that?
    sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
    bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    sweet17: **** YOU!!!
    bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
    sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
    sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: No you aren't
    bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
    bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
    sweet17: I'm done with you
    bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
    sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
    bloodninja: Wait a sec
    bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
    bloodninja: Wanna start over?
    sweet17: No
    bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
    sweet17: You'll what?
    bloodninja: You heard me.
    bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
    sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
    sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
    bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
    sweet17: Like what?
    bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
    sweet17: I don't know
    bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
    sweet17: I'm afraid to
    bloodninja: Why?
    sweet17: cause
    bloodninja: cause why?
    sweet17: well lets see
    sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
    bloodninja: Nope
    sweet17: well its strange to me
    bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    sweet17: I didn't say that
    bloodninja: So is that a yes?
    sweet17: I guess so.
    bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    bloodninja: Are you willing?
    sweet17: What do you need me to do?
    bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
    sweet17: ???
    bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    bloodninja: ok?
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You can't be serious
    bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
    bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
    sweet17: this is retarded
    bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
    sweet17: Yes I want it.
    bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
    sweet17: sure
    bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
    bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
    bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
    sweet17: mmmm yeah
    bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
    sweet17: Har
    bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
    bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
    sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
    bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
    bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: HARRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: this is stupid
    bloodninja: ...still limp
    bloodninja: Do it!
    sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
    bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17: WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
    sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
    bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
    bloodninja: ...going limp again.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    bloodninja: Say it!
    bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
    who gives a fuck?

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Poster
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Canada B.C
    Posts
    307
    who gives a fuck?

    you do ...or you would have never came here and looked at it...right?

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    funkcat78
    Guest
    hahahahaha *falls off chair laughing*

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    I give a fuck. Some of that shit was fucking hilairious

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    CadeLaguana's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Waco, Texas
    Age
    32
    Posts
    622
    Originally posted by jubei_yagyu@13 September 2003 - 06:47
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    Haha. Man thats some real funny shit....


    God. You got more?


    EDIT: I posted in the middle of reading this, I should have read all before posting but

    "eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat."


    My god I haven't laughed like this in fuckin ages!

    This is questionably the funniest shit I have ever read man.

    If you had pages of em, I read everyone.

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    TheDave's Avatar n00b
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    yorkshire, england
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,982
    you need more man. that got me har.... harharing with laughter, yes thats it i laughed

Page 1 of 8 1234 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •