Blonde Jokes Gotta Luvem

[silent VI]

Why are Asians so smart?
(No blondes.)

  Try this
A blonde and a brunette are walking along together and the brunette says "Look a dead bird!"
The blond scans the sky and says "Where?"

[aserty]

Why did the blonde steal the Police car?

Because she saw 9-1-1 on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

[silent VI]

why was the blonde staring at a juice bottle

because it said concentrate

why did the blonde climb a glass wall

to see the other side

what did the blonde ask her docter when she was pregnate

is it mine

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and
when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take
out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"

in the mind of a blonde Anally - occurring yearly
Artery - study of paintings
Bacteria - back door of cafeteria
Caesarian section - district in Rome
Cat scan - searching for kitty
Cauterize - made eye contact with her
Colic - sheepdog
Coma - a punctuation mark
Congenital - friendly
Dilate - to live long
Enema - not a friend
Fester - quicker
Fibula - a small lie
Impotent - distinguished, well known
Intense pain - torture in a teepee
Labour pain - getting hurt at work
Medical staff - doctor's cane
Morbid - higher offer
Nitrate - cheaper than day rate
Outpatient - person who has fainted
Pathology - a rambler's association
Post operative - letter carrier
Protein - favouring young people
Radiologist - Dr Fox on Capital FM
Rectum - damn near killed 'em
Recovery room - place to do upholstery
Secretion - hiding anything
Serology - study of knighthood
Terminal illness - sickness at airport
Tumour - an extra pair
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - located nearby

[cartyboiee]

Originally posted by DrunkeNStylE@29 September 2003 - 09:19
what did the blonde ask her docter when she was pregnate

is it mine

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and
when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take
out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"

classic!

Q. How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A. she opens the car door ...

[silent VI]

my blonde friend was reading these and no shi*in she didnt understand half of them lol im not lying funny stuff

[imnotanaddict]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
> in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee,
> he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the
> fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of
> your stupid blonde jokes.
>
> What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the
> color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
>
> It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and
> in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because
> you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only
> blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!" The
> ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde
> yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on
> your knee!"

[silent VI]

what a blondes favorite nursury rhyme

humpme dumpme

how come blondes wear green lipstick

cause red means stop

why did the blonde put the condum on her ear

she was afraid of getting hearing aids

why do blonde have bruses all over there stomach

cause blonde guys arnt that smart either

[vegasguy]

HI,

These are the most fuuniest shit in the world, I just printed these out and I am going to keep these in a safe. Thanks for the good laughs,

[silent VI]

I just printed these out and I am going to keep these in a safe.

i feel so ......... apresheated

[silent VI]

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"Come on! Jump! You gotta jump." say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You are going to pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.
"No! It's brunettes that we can't stand. We're Okay with Redheads." repied the firemen.
"Okay." said the redhead, and she jumped. SWISH! The firemen yanked the blanket away, and the lady was flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Finally, the blonde stepped to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yelled, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away." yelled the blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump. We won't pull the blanket away," answered the firemen.
"Look," the blonde said. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away. So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it."

Two blonde men were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.The other blonde guy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"The second blonde guy got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON! The nails that are pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!"

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?" asked the blonde.
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'the blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."