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Thread: 52 Most Dangerous Amercians

  1. #1
    Darth Sushi's Avatar Sushi Lord
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    Too bad an English version is not available



    http://www.mrxsss.com/blog/archives/2003/0..._americans.html

    [edit]
    Sorry for the spelling error.

  2. The Drawing Room   -   #2


    they should make 52 of Bush
    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>BLAH</span>

    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Wayne Rooney - A thug and a thief</span>

  3. The Drawing Room   -   #3
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Those naughty French people - they have such a zany sense of humour.


    I believe they do make an English version in the interests of rapprochement.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  4. The Drawing Room   -   #4
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    They should make a deck of cards for Great French Victories.

    They won&#39;t need to kill many trees to produce that.



  5. The Drawing Room   -   #5
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
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    The English Version.........

    English version is not available to buy yet, but will be available soon apparently.

    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

  6. The Drawing Room   -   #6
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Billy

    I think you are letting your natural Englsh prejudices show. Apart from the WW2 fiasco the French have a long and fairly distinguished military history.

    They won a few lost a few just like everyone else.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  7. The Drawing Room   -   #7
    I know its been brought up before, but....
    google -> type in
    french military victories
    click on i&#39;m feeling lucky
    click on the alternative

    or if you can&#39;t be arsed
    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

  8. The Drawing Room   -   #8
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Originally posted by Biggles@27 September 2003 - 11:42
    Billy

    I think you are letting your natural Englsh prejudices show. Apart from the WW2 fiasco the French have a long and fairly distinguished military history.

    They won a few lost a few just like everyone else.
    I think he might be confusing the French with the Italians there, Biggles.

    News just in from the Gulf: Italy have surrendered.

  9. The Drawing Room   -   #9
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    Thanks ILW, interesting eh?

    The Complete Military History of France&nbsp;

    - Gallic Wars
    - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

    - Hundred Years War
    - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France&#39;s armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

    - Italian Wars
    - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

    - Wars of Religion
    - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

    - Thirty Years War
    - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

    - War of Revolution
    - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

    - The Dutch War
    - Tied

    - War of the Augsburg League/King William&#39;s War/French and Indian War
    - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

    - War of the Spanish Succession
    - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

    - American Revolution
    - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

    - French Revolution
    - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

    - The Napoleonic Wars
    - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule&#33 due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

    - The Franco-Prussian War
    - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France&#39;s ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

    - World War I
    - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it&#39;s like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn&#39;t call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

    - World War II
    - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

    - War in Indochina
    - Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

    - Algerian Rebellion
    - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

    - War on Terrorism
    - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald&#39;s.

    The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

    Or, better still, the quote from last week&#39;s Wall Street Journal: "They&#39;re there when they need you."


  10. The Drawing Room   -   #10
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    Billy

    Amusing, actually, very amusing

    But historically a tad selective. It is possible to do that to any country - with the possible exception of the Japanese.

    The French have retained their independence of state and mind and I think we all have a begrudging admiration for anyone who does their own thing.

    The English dislike of the French stems from 1066 when all the English aristocracy were replaced by French ones and French became the Court language. No likes a conquerer - least of all the conquered nation.

    Hence, incidently, the dilemma the Coalition faces in Iraq.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


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