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Thread: Offensive World Records

  1. #1
    uNz[i]'s Avatar Out of order
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    LONGEST PUBIC HAIR
    Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the
    armpits and 28 inches from her groinal region.

    PIMPLE POPPING
    In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and
    projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft
    1inch.

    WORST DRINK
    The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely
    drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding
    night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently
    attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

    MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
    This is available from a few select bars in New York, contains
    tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard
    and a dash of lime. It is not mixed,but served with a
    tampon(unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a
    'C*** Pump'.

    LONGEST TURD
    The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who
    produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which
    was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from
    134 washrooms in his state.

    MOST PROLONGED FART
    Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an
    officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.

    GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
    Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of
    seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height
    (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle
    velocity, with 42.7mph.

    I have a couple more, but I don't think they'll pass the forum rules for appropriate
    material... the ones I posted here should be more than enough for any sane
    person anyway.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
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    Holy S*#T ROFL

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Autumn Fox's Avatar n00b
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    Whatta ppl

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Double Agent
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    :x :x :x :x :x

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Double Agent
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    Originally posted by Justsomeguy@4 October 2003 - 17:49
    GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
    Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of
    seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height
    (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle
    velocity, with 42.7mph.
    :x:x:x:x:x

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    LONGEST TURD
    The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who
    produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which
    was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from
    134 washrooms in his state
    HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Only in a Processor.
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    Originally posted by Justsomeguy@4 October 2003 - 17:49
    MOST PROLONGED FART
    Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an
    officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
    Holy Sh*t!! That's a long fart. I wonder what his wife said?
    Only in a computer will I find happiness.

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Jayhawk's Avatar Rock Chalk Jayhawk BT Rep: +5
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    that is some good stuff sounds painful for must though

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
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    Originally posted by Justsomeguy@4 October 2003 - 10:49
    LONGEST PUBIC HAIR
    Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the
    armpits and 28 inches from her groinal region.
    A chick with longer armpit hair than you-know-what hair?!

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
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    lol

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