It hurts so badly...

[brotherdoobie]

You should eat the fuck out of some of fresh fruit, and dark green veggies; follow that up with a quart of prune juice, and 4 tablespoons of Castor oil.

Do it.


-doobs

[Baderous]

a quick "medicine" is: orange juice and garlic (bend it, cus the garlic must be smashed)

On a regular basis, you have to drink something like 1 litre of water per day. This is very important. Also do as said above, eat a lot of veggetables (green ones).

[IdolEyes787]

I hate to be the voice of reason here but "it hurts when I shit" is not necessarily descriptive of constipation and could be indicative of some serious condition.
If the situation continues maybe seeing a medical professional and not asking advice from some twits on the internet would be advisable.

[kallieb]

^^ Best post so far. Good man IdolEyes787.

@OP: I know it may feel embarrassing to go speak to a real life human doctor about this, but it will pay off in the end (pardon the pun).

Mind you, I'm reminded of that scene in Jackass. By chance did you pass out a party the other night. Maybe you have a toy car up there.

[Skweeky]

Plus, you're not telling us where it hurts. Does it hurt your stomach or your actual rectum?

When basic actions like that become sore you really should see a doctor; it could be anything from constipation to intestinal spasms to haemorrhoids or something a lot more serious!

Fuck sake.

[Alien5]