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Thread: A Couple Funnies

  1. #1
    Dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old
    > lady, was nervous,
    > so
    > he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
    > latex gloves.
    > "Do you
    > know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
    > "No, I don't," she replied.
    > "Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with
    > a big tank of
    > latex,
    > and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip
    > in their hands,
    > let
    > them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into
    > boxes of the
    > right
    > size." She didn't crack a smile. "Oh, well. I tried,"
    > he thought.
    >
    > Five minutes later, during the procedure the little
    > old lady burst
    > out laughing.
    > "What's so funny?" he asked.
    > She answered, "I was just envisioning how condoms are
    > made."
    >

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Two men were in the doctor's office. Each of them is to get a vasectomy.

    The nurse comes into the room and tells both men "Strip and put on these
    gowns before going in to see the doctor to have your procedures done."

    A few minutes later she returns and reaches into one man's gown and
    proceeds to fondle and ultimately begins to masturbate him.

    Shocked as he was, he asks, "Why are you doing that?"

    To which she replies, "We have to vacate the sperm from your system to
    have a clean procedure."

    The man, not wanting to be a problem and enjoying it, allows her to
    complete her task.

    After she is through, she proceeds to the next man. She starts to fondle
    him as she had the previous man, but then drops to her knees and proceeds
    to give him oral sex.

    The first man, seeing this, quickly responds, "Hey! Why is it that I get
    masturbated and he gets a blow job?"

    The nurse simply replies, "That, sir, is the difference between an HMO and
    Blue Cross/Blue Shield!"
    SMARTY SMARTY HAD A PARTY NOBODY CAME BUT SMARTY

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    SMARTY SMARTY HAD A PARTY NOBODY CAME BUT SMARTY

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Out of The Ordinary
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    4,113
    Ohhh sh*t

    BOT

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    a couple more...

    NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars.
    > The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way
    > trip, the guy would never return to Earth.
    >
    > The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted
    > to be paid for going.
    >
    > "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all
    > to my alma mater -- Rice University."
    >
    > The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same
    > question.
    >
    > "Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my
    > family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical
    > research."
    >
    > The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he
    > whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
    >
    > "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.
    >
    > The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million,
    > I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.
    >
    > Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the
    > repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat.
    >
    > Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail
    > you a check.
    >
    > Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog.
    > He won't bother you.
    >
    > But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances,
    > talk to my parrot!"
    >
    > "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
    >
    > When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following
    > day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has
    > ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on
    > the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
    >
    > The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his
    > incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
    >
    > Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and
    > yelled,
    >
    > "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied,
    >
    > "Get him, Spike!"
    SMARTY SMARTY HAD A PARTY NOBODY CAME BUT SMARTY

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and
    > yelled,
    >
    > "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied,
    >
    > "Get him, Spike!"

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    lol hahahahahahahahhahaha hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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