Daily Jokes

**Ronhall** · 12-16-2011, 07:19 PM

An Angry Wife To
Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ... ?"

Husband:
Darling You Remember That
Jewelery Shop Where You Saw
The Diamond Necklace n Totally
Fell In Love With It n I Didn't
Have Money That Time n I said
"Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... " O

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing:
Yeah I Remember That My Love !

Husband:
I m In The Pub Just Next To That Shop

**bigboab** · 12-17-2011, 07:49 PM

On a flying visit to New York this week, I sat next to a stunning woman who revealed to me she was giving a lecture to the annual nymphomaniac convention in America.
She told me she was debunking sexual myths:

French men aren’t the best lovers, Greeks are.

Native American Indians are the most well-endowed, not African Americans.

Irishmen, not the English upper class, are the most likely to charm a woman into bed.

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and said: ‘I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don’t even know your name!’
‘Tonto,’ I said. ‘Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.’

**Ronhall** · 12-25-2011, 07:16 AM

George W. Bush and his driver were going to Air Force One and were passing a farm. A pig jumped out in the road suddenly. The driver tried to get out of the way, but he hit him. He went in the farm to explain what had happened. He came out with a beer, a cigar, and a tons of money. Bush saw this and said, "My God, what did you tell them?" The driver replied, "I told them that I'm George W. Bush's driver and I just killed the pig."

**AlexJ1** · 02-02-2012, 04:11 PM

A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude because it taught him how much his wife loved him.

She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled,

"My husband's home! My husband's home!"

**Human_Being** · 02-02-2012, 04:37 PM

John Terry won't be facing trial for racial abuse until after Euro 2012. So he's free to lead his country into Poland. Just like his hero did.

Due to Harry Redknapp's dyslexia, Tottenham have put a bid in for Lady Gaga. He ended up with louis saha!!!

**cathymartin** · 02-28-2012, 11:07 AM

Two guys were fishing down by the Ohio River on different sides of the riverbank at night. Guy number one was catching a whole bunch of fish for his family, but guy number two hadn't caught any and was frustrated and called out to guy number one "How come you've been catching all them there fish and I ain't caught a single one?"
Guy number one replied, " I don’t know.... why don’t ya come on over here?"
"I don’t know.... I don’t see a bridge, and their aint no boat, and I don’t swim to well"
Guy number one picks up his flashlight, turns it on, and replies, " Why don’t you walk across this here beam off light?"
Guy number two was outraged and replied "do you think am stupid? When I get half way you'll turn it off!!!"