Really Bad Puns

[J'Pol]

I was out walking the other evening. This fellow accosted me, and asked if that was the moon up there in the sky. I replied that I had no idea as I was a stranger there myself.

[J'Pol]

This chap said to me, "If you look over there, you'll see Dumbarton Rock". Well, I looked for 20 minutes and the thing never moved an inch.

[J'Pol]

I met this chap at the Olympics. I said to him, "Excuse me but are you a pole vaulter?", he replied,"No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter."


Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you

The One

The Only

The Incomparable

Chic Murray - without whom Billy Connolly would be a welder.

[bigboab]

Try some lateral ones JP. Sometimes I wonder if I am one of the few lateral thinkers on the Forum.

Someone posted the other night 'turn on the news'. Everyone else was switching on the news too see what was happening. Here was me sitting here saying to myself. "Why should I turn on the news? It didn't do me any harm"

[J'Pol]

Originally posted by bigboab@30 October 2003 - 01:02
Try some lateral ones JP. Sometimes I wonder if I am one of the few lateral thinkers on the Forum.

Someone posted the other night 'turn on the news'. Everyone else was switching on the news too see what was happening. Here was me sitting here saying to myself. "Why should I turn on the news? It didn't do me any harm"

I thought the Cod one was OK

Re the news, I would have thought, how do I do that - wear a sexy ensemble while watching Trevor McDonut.

[bigboab]

Originally posted by JPaul@29 October 2003 - 23:59
I met this chap at the Olympics. I said to him, "Excuse me but are you a pole vaulter?", he replied,"No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter."


Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you

The One

The Only

The Incomparable

Chic Murray - without whom Billy Connolly would be a welder.

Heard it JP. I also think he was one of the best. Unique. I saw him a couple of times when I was younger(Obviously). A kind of intelligent mans Tommy Cooper.

[Lamsey]

Originally posted by bigboab@30 October 2003 - 00:02
Someone posted the other night 'turn on the news'. Everyone else was switching on the news too see what was happening. Here was me sitting here saying to myself. "Why should I turn on the news? It didn't do me any harm"

And what is to say that the news will find you sexually attractive, anyway?

[bigboab]

Originally posted by Lamsey+30 October 2003 - 00:06--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Lamsey @ 30 October 2003 - 00:06)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-bigboab@30 October 2003 - 00:02
Someone posted the other night &#39;turn on the news&#39;. Everyone else was switching on the news too see what was happening. Here was me sitting here saying to myself. "Why should I turn on the news? It didn&#39;t do me any harm"&nbsp;

And what is to say that the news will find you sexually attractive, anyway? [/b][/quote]
If it didn&#39;t it would be the first.

[Lamsey]

Originally posted by bigboab+30 October 2003 - 00:08--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (bigboab @ 30 October 2003 - 00:08)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by Lamsey@30 October 2003 - 00:06
<!--QuoteBegin-bigboab

@30 October 2003 - 00:02
Someone posted the other night &#39;turn on the news&#39;. Everyone else was switching on the news too see what was happening. Here was me sitting here saying to myself. "Why should I turn on the news? It didn&#39;t do me any harm"

And what is to say that the news will find you sexually attractive, anyway?

If it didn&#39;t it would be the first. [/b][/quote]
Are you implying it has a first for you?














sorry, that was v.poor :">