Advice Needed

[AussieSheila]

I wouldn't come straight out and tell him, he's likely to shoot the messenger. I have, when one of my girlfriends told me my husband was cheating. I barely spoke to her for years, mainly because I was embarrassed that she (and all my other friends) knew all about it, it was quite a full on thing and had been going on for a long time. It had a serious effect on my relationship with my friend. Took years to get over it, and there's all that friendship lost in between.

That all happened a long time ago. Since then I've been in the position of knowing that a friend was cheating on their partner. I expressed concerns about it, without coming right out and saying he was screwing around. It was enough to make her aware so that she could discover for herself. I never lied to her, if she asked me a quetion straight out I answered honestly. The end result is that her constantly cheating husband is long gone and we are still best friends.

It's so difficult, but she will bring herself undone in the end. Just be there for your friend.

B)

[the_truth_comes_out]

Thanks guys for all your help. I appreciate it, I have taken aboard some of the things you have suggested but to be honest I am still confused at what to do. It is hard to stay friends with her when I know the truth and to not tell him when I feel he should know. So a vote….Should I tell him, yes or no?

[Smooch]

Tell him, just as long as your other friends are prepared to back you up.

She'll only do it again if she realises she's got away with it this time.

Good luck, and let us know what happens.

[shubhodeep_das]

Originally posted by the_truth_comes_out@31 October 2003 - 22:25
Hi, I have recently joined the site but I have been “lurking” for some time to see if the board is worth joining. I was viewing the thread started by “shareholder” about him cheating on his girlfriend.

A lot of views where shared on this topic and I was wondering if I could take a slightly different yet similar angle on this problem. Within my group of friends there is a couple that have been going out for a long time. At a recent party, one half of the couple left early. The other half took part in a “party” game of postman’s knock. During this game she gave some guys friendly pecks on the cheek, however with this one guy, she took it further and fully got off with him. This did not just happen once but continued to happen all throughout the party and they continued to meet alone on the days following the party – continuing right up till tonight.

I am friends with both half’s of the couple and I am torn in two. Do I tell the guy that the girl he loves has and is possibly continuing to cheat on him or do I keep to a guarantee that what happened in the party should stay within the party. I am thinking of breaking the “oath” as I have thoughts that the cheating may still be continuing to this very day.

I am just looking for some advice on what to do, I don’t really know whom to turn to so I decided to post on this and get some intelligent advice. Any help will be very much appreciated.

Ithappenned to a friend of mine too.But this time it was a boy who was cheating.However the girl stuck up with him till the very end and tried not to break relations.Girls are very patient about these things and if you explain to them as a friend they will surely understand.

[AussieSheila]

If you really can't live with the knowledge (and you learn how as you grow older and more cynical) then I would talk to her first. Tell her you and all your friends know what's going on and if she doesn't do something you will have to.

Good luck.

B)

Oh crap, you have talked to her. Is she acting nervous around you since then?

[Evil Gemini]

You should organize a party and invite the 3 of them as well.

During the night im sure they will get cought out.