Why can't I own Canadians?

[bizarre]

> Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses
>advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that,
>as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according
>to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The
>following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast
>resident,
> ?
> Dear Dr. Laura:?
> ?
> Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
>Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
>knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the
>homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
>18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need
>some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws
>and how to follow them:?
> ?
> When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
>creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my
>neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite
>them??
> ?
> I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
>Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
>price for her??
> ?
> I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
>her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is,
>how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.?
> ?
> Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
>and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
>friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
>Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians??
> ?
> I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
>35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to
>kill him myself??
> ?
> A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
>abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
>I don't agree. Can you settle this??
> ?
> Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
>have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
>Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here??
> ?
> Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
>hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
>Lev. 19:27. How should they die??
> ?
> I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
>makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves??
> ?
> My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
>different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
>made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also
>tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to
>all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -
>Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
>affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
>20:14)?
> ?
> I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
>confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word
>is eternal and unchanging.?

[TheCynergist]

I love this. Where did you find it? Do you mind if I share it?

[bizarre]

share all you want

I found it in the off topic forum of PlanetZ - a userforum for Pulsar users


bizz