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Thread: Sex For The Technically Inclined

  1. #1
    GOTCHA

    Now Enjoy this and laugh it out.

    ====If you know c lang you will surely ROTFL============

    Code:
    /* Sexual Intercourse Algorithm v 1.0 Beta 5 build 1025
    Copyright eXpired - idiotica.net, [email]expired@idiotica. net[/email] */
    /* Sexual Intercourse Algorithm v 1.0 Beta 5 build 1025
    Copyright eXpired - idiotica.net, [email]expired@idiotica. net[/email] */
    #include "bigwang.h"
    #include "you.h"
    #include "dirtyvery *friendly* person.h" // Version 2.3, 2.4 has extra experimental STD's not covered
    #include "bugsupport.h" // Bug detection and eradication algorithms
    #include "viagra.h" // Handicapped accessibility support
    #include "18pack.h" // Self explanatory
    #include "coersion.h" // This class handles the arousal process
    #include "loveglove.h" // Protection for run-level bugs
    void main()
    {
      You you;
      18pack beer;
      very *friendly* person girl(RANDOM); // Generate random very *friendly* person
      if(girl.weight > 170 || girl.ugly == true)
      	while(girl.ugly == true)
      	beer.drink();
      else if(girl.age < 1
      {
      	you.run(QUICKLY);
      	you.masturbateFiercelyInstead();
      	exit(); // Better luck next time
      }
      // Girl should now be approved for further evaluation
      BigWang *ramRod(INCHES8); // Create wang for standby
      if(you.age > 45)
      {
      	Viagra limpBeGone;
      	you.takePill(limpBeGone);
      }// Old guys gotta do it, too
      you.attachPud(ramRod); // Ready the wang for proper usage
      Coersion pickupLine;
      you.speak(pickupLine.random());
      if(girl.action == SLAP || you.language == DRUNKISH)
      	{
        you.speak("pregnant dog!");
        you.run(QUICKLY);
        you.masturbateFiercelyInstead();
        exit(); // Try again tomorrow
      	}
      	while(girl.aroused == false)
      {
      	you.givevery *friendly* personDrink(girl); // She'll be ready after about a 6 pack or so
      }
      // Girl should now be approved and in a proper run state
      you.foreplay(NEVER); // Foreplay is NOT necessary in this kind of human encounter
      girl.removeClothes();
      if(girl.girl thingy == HAIRY)
      	you.useGardenSheers(girl); // Nobody likes a Gorilla Salad
      	if(girl.girl thingy == SEAFOODSPECIAL)
      	{
        you.usePowerWasher(girl);
        you.goingDownAnyway = false;
      	}
        if(girl.girl thingy == CRABS)
        {
        	BugSupport orkinMan;
        	you.call(orkinMan);
        	orkinMan.pesticideLevel = FULL;
        	orkinMan.exterminatePestsInArea();
        	you.goingDownAnyway = false;
        }
        if(girl.girl thingy == WARTS)
        {
        	if(you.beenLaidInAwhile == false)
        	{
          you.popWarts();
          you.usePowerWasher(girl);
        	}
        else
        	{
          you.speak("AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!");
          you.run(LIKEAMOTHERf**kER);
          you.swearOffSex = true;
          exit(); // Don't even THINK about executing masturbateFiercelyInstead();
        	}
        }
      // Security for filtering bad and illegal operations should be succesful
      if(you.goingDownAnyway = true)
      	while(you.gagReflex == CONTROLLED)
      	{
        you.plugNose();
        you.lickDeadFish();
      	}
      	// The following is correct blowjob procedure
      	you.speak("Well, it's not going to suck itself!");
      	while(girl.onKneesSmilingLikeACheerio == false && you.satisfied == false)
      	{
        you.pregnant dogSlap(girl);
        you.speak("What are you waiting for?");
      	}
      LoveGlove *jimmyHat;
      ramRod.wear(jimmyHat); // for protection of extra STD's such as pregnancy, which is the worst
      if(you.whiskeythingy == true)
      	{
        you.vomitOn(girl);
        you.passOut();
        exit(); // Hey, it happens to everybody. Really.
      	}
      if(you.intoxication == nutsFACED)
      	{
        you.begForAnalSex(girl);
        if(girl.poopSexWilling == true)
        	you.putWangInDaButt(girl);
        else
        	you.putWangInDaButtAnywayAndPretendItsAnAccident(girl);
      	}
      if(you.intoxication == SOBER)
      	{
        you.putWangInBeardedClam(girl);
      	}
      while(you.awake == true && you.wangDefeated == false)
      	{
        you.thrustHips(LIKEDYINGANIMAL);
        if(you.knowHerName == true)
        	you.speak("Ugh... ugh... UGGGGGGH, %s!", girl.name);
        else
        	you.speak("Who is your daddy, and what does he do? UGGGGGH!");
      	}
      // Intercourse should now be properly and fully executed, and it's time for her to leave
      you.kickOutDoor(girl);
      free(girl); // Properly clear her from memory
      you.eMailYourFriends("LOL I got laid!!! Eye am 3733t!");
    }
    @mods-please don't change the title. :)

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    FvKin GeniuS :D
    Join Date
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    Posts
    1,659
    ROFLL LMAO ROTFLMAO
    Board rule: max 500x150 Pixels (w x h)

    http://filesharingtalk.com/sigs/albegaleeeee.jpg

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Poster
    Join Date
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    i took c++ and advanced c++ programming, but i'm still not lmao -

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Originally posted by kurtsl0an@10 November 2003 - 13:08
    i took c++ and advanced c++ programming, but i'm still not lmao - 
    read it again and this time think of LOGIC & SEX

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    not many ppl know C?

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Ex-member
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    5,529
    It's damned difficult to read that without the indentation

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    vivitron 15's Avatar Poster
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    saw the joke, but didnt find it all that funny...sorry
    <insert signature here>

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    JONNO_CELEBS's Avatar Densly Loadan BT Rep: +20BT Rep +20BT Rep +20BT Rep +20
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    Too much to read so I&#39;ll laugh anyway...........





    Jonno B)
    Thinking about 1
    My Place & Arcade

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    RGX's Avatar Unstoppable
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    3,072
    Thatr is very very sad and took some time to make....


    still laughing my arse off though

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