The short story is that I told him I do not want
anything from him except for a photo album. My step-mother will be around for SEVERAL decades, so it is mostly a moot point, anyway. She's healthier than most 25 year-olds. Honestly, he has been of NO value to me. Had I never met him, my life would probably be 10-15 years ahead of where it is now. I will turn 40 in October, I am a new father (18 months tomorrow), and just now finishing my Master's. I
should have been to this point by 25. Unfortunately, I spent all of those years trying to build the life I have now. I have a wonderful wife, twins, a nice house, an amazing education, and kind In-laws. I have nothing to do with my blood relatives. Not all of them are "bad" people, but there are too many entanglements with those who are.
I will gain a bit of peace when he's no longer around. He knows he is not welcome around my family- and I did (recently after 12 years of absolutely NO contact) give him a shot to stand up, and be a man. He could not admit to doing me wrong (he actually RAN out of my house when I brought it up). Since he does not recognize his failings, and the damage he did, I have to believe he has never learned what acceptable human behavior is. I've worked hard to not be him, and I will not allow him to poison my family with his presence.
We can take this to PM if you want to go into more details, macky. We are both survivors who have pushed ourselves forward in spite of our beginnings. I've posted this much in the open forums because I hope it may help someone else realize that bad family members can poison you life, and keep you down. I've seen too many people who have had their whole lives impaired by holding on to family who make their lives WORSE. It takes an amazing amount of strength to throw away everything for hopes of a
healthy life, but I can say it is DEFINITELY worth the struggles involved.
Hope these words help someone...
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