You're going to want to hold onto your bananas for this one

[mjmacky]

This is about a 30 minute NPR special on the banana that just recently re-aired. Since all of you here are dumb fucktards that hide from anything educational, I doubt anyone will actually follow up the link I'm providing as a courtesy. As a double courtesy, I will instead summarize all the crazy shit that's been going with the banana, past, present and future.

Terry Gross interviews Dan Koeppel on Fresh Air (it's a link to the mp3 podcast, can be downloaded for conveniences)

• So first of all, we need to be fucking scared for our bananas. The Panama disease is out doing its fungal dance on bananas all around the world. It hasn't yet hit the Americas, so protect your bananas people, baking bread is now the second most dangerous fungal infection for our bananas.
• Pretty much all bananas are the same nowadays. We used to have Big Mike, the Gros Michel, and it was a big sturdy banana. It was a banana that we could be proud of, then it got Panama disease because it was such a popular banana. Now we just have the inferior Cavendish, which is reflected visually because Asian bananas are smaller.
• Men wielding their powerful bananas used their influences to control governments and put puppets in place. These were called Banana republics. These men needed more freedom for their bananas at the extreme inconvenience of others. The United Fruit Company, men who play a powerful game when they play with their bananas.
• The CIA got involved with some covert banana stuff, for real. Nobody knew what they were doing with their hidden bananas, but we know now that Eisenhower had them depose Arbenz and put in power someone more friendly to their bananas.
• If you want to put your mouth around one of the best tasting bananas in the world, head to the Philippines and look for Lacatan. You'll be excited to taste the Filipino's red banana.
• You may think this thread is a little fruity, but you see, bananas are #1, but unless we keep our bananas safe and plan ahead for the future, they won't be #1 forever.

Here are some lovely Victorian ladies innocently putting some bananas in their mouths:

5243774767_c1890c7981_b.jpg

[zojirushi]

Ah, yes. My girlfriend took a three week vacation to the Philippines, and she said that every man there gave her a red banana. I guess growing bananas is a common family business.

[Mr. Mulder]

I have a t-shirt in real life that says "ask me about my big banana". I bought it in Mallorca.

I hope this helps.

[teflon05]

As I recall, the big problem is that bananas have no seeds, so if you want to plant a new banana tree you need a shoot from another tree. Therefore, if all the trees got any type of disease, bananas would no longer exist, which would really suck.

[Squeamous]

This is about a 30 minute NPR special on the banana that just recently re-aired. Since all of you here are dumb fucktards that hide from anything educational, I doubt anyone will actually follow up the link I'm providing as a courtesy. As a double courtesy, I will instead summarize all the crazy shit that's been going with the banana, past, present and future.

Terry Gross interviews Dan Koeppel on Fresh Air (it's a link to the mp3 podcast, can be downloaded for conveniences)

• So first of all, we need to be fucking scared for our bananas. The Panama disease is out doing its fungal dance on bananas all around the world. It hasn't yet hit the Americas, so protect your bananas people, baking bread is now the second most dangerous fungal infection for our bananas.
• Pretty much all bananas are the same nowadays. We used to have Big Mike, the Gros Michel, and it was a big sturdy banana. It was a banana that we could be proud of, then it got Panama disease because it was such a popular banana. Now we just have the inferior Cavendish, which is reflected visually because Asian bananas are smaller.
• Men wielding their powerful bananas used their influences to control governments and put puppets in place. These were called Banana republics. These men needed more freedom for their bananas at the extreme inconvenience of others. The United Fruit Company, men who play a powerful game when they play with their bananas.
• The CIA got involved with some covert banana stuff, for real. Nobody knew what they were doing with their hidden bananas, but we know now that Eisenhower had them depose Arbenz and put in power someone more friendly to their bananas.
• If you want to put your mouth around one of the best tasting bananas in the world, head to the Philippines and look for Lacatan. You'll be excited to taste the Filipino's red banana.
• You may think this thread is a little fruity, but you see, bananas are #1, but unless we keep our bananas safe and plan ahead for the future, they won't be #1 forever.

Here are some lovely Victorian ladies innocently putting some bananas in their mouths:

5243774767_c1890c7981_b.jpg

Yawn. This information has been in circulation for ages.

[Mr. Mulder]

i'd follow that link if it in any way would lead to me eating a banana that was half hanging out of squeamous's rectum.

[teflon05]

i'd follow that link if it in any way would lead to me eating a banana that was half hanging out of squeamous's rectum.

Only half?

[mjmacky]

Yawn. This information has been in circulation for ages.

Sure, it's been several years, but the modern issue is still relevant. My goal was to peel off the protective skin and expose the banana to everyone here.

Also, it hurts my feelings when you mock my banana

[mjmacky]

i'd follow that link if it in any way would lead to me eating a banana that was half hanging out of squeamous's rectum.

That link leads to a banana halfway into squeamous's rectum, and it's not your average Cavendish, it's a big thick creamy banana.

[Squeamous]

It doesn't you know. I just had a look and all there is in there are the rusting blades of a threshing machine, the libdem manifesto, everything ever written by Chuck Palahniuk apart from Fight Club, Mumsnet, the Daily Mail comments section, some tumbleweed, Oleg, your mums, a premiership footballer, and some Preparation H. No bananas.