my night out

[Mr. Mulder]

i went out wednesday night cos its a student night and they don't pay real prices for drinks due to them being a bunch of sexy work-shy cunts.

i got to my mates flat about half seven, i stopped on the wai to get a bottle of vodka and some nondescript energy drinks. i got to his place and it was a fucking state!! he'd not washed up in weeks, dirty food plates everywhere. unwashed clothes all over the floor. fag ash everywhere, what a legend.

we smashed that bottle then got in a taxi to town where we met our disabled friend (he's ginger) then we went to spoons and got fucked. then on to three other places and got more fucked. don't think we touched a single beer all night, it was all spirits. by about midnight i didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore or even if i even existed but then by about 2am i'd calmed down a bit. we lost our ginger friend along the way. he either went home or died.

then at the end of it all we went to kebab kingdom. i ordered a pizza, turned around and my mate had gone!! so i phoned him and said hoi where the fuck are you!! he said wot im getting a pizza where'd you go?? i said im getting a pizza you were stood right here a minute ago!!! then he realised he was outside again and then came back inside. true story.

so we sat down to eat and then these two PHIT!!!!! students walked in, well one of them was fit the other was a little bit of a porker. anyway the one that was phit, FUCK SHE WAS PHIT!!! she had the longest legs in the world, a really short skirt on and was dressed proper classy and slutty. they asked if they could join us. being fucked and aroused i think my answer was "yeahhmhmnnhmnh!!"

so they sat down, i was talking to the phit one, my mate the chubby one. she was asking what i do for a living and stuff and then i was pretending to be interested in what she was saying and stuffs, then without warning she got up, sat on my knee and started hand feeding me the pizza!! telling me she likes my arms and asking what gym i go to then got me to feel her arms AND CHEST!!!! then said do you want to share a taxi with us "OH HELLS YEAH!!!" i replied. so we got in the taxi and she was adding her number to my phone then we all got out and they just sort of wondered off!! so my mate rang them and then we found out what street they'd gone down. we got near to their door and could see the tubby one waving at us but as we got near she closed the door and they stopped answering their phones!!! WTF!!!!

so we walked back to his and watched south park then i threw up and fell asleep. true story

[Artemis]

Can we swap lives for a week ? I promise I will give you yours back only slightly worse for wear & you couldn't fuck mine up any more if you tried.

[thebazzla]

question! how did you know they where PHIT!!!!! when you where obviously mildly tispy...plus that kind of night is a regular occurrence where i lives.....

[Mr. Mulder]

Can we swap lives for a week ? I promise I will give you yours back only slightly worse for wear & you couldn't fuck mine up any more if you tried.

would i get full access to all of your horses?

[thebazzla]

is she here ? no ... thats what i thought ...

who what why....

[thebazzla]

sounds like an ideal women for the muldster.

[Artemis]

Can we swap lives for a week ? I promise I will give you yours back only slightly worse for wear & you couldn't fuck mine up any more if you tried.

would i get full access to all of your horses?

Sure thing, even the loopy ones. After a week with 18 pushy nags, you will REALLY appreciate drinking till you pass out....

[Squeamous]

i went out wednesday night cos its a student night and they don't pay real prices for drinks due to them being a bunch of sexy work-shy cunts.

i got to my mates flat about half seven, i stopped on the wai to get a bottle of vodka and some nondescript energy drinks. i got to his place and it was a fucking state!! he'd not washed up in weeks, dirty food plates everywhere. unwashed clothes all over the floor. fag ash everywhere, what a legend.

we smashed that bottle then got in a taxi to town where we met our disabled friend (he's ginger) then we went to spoons and got fucked. then on to three other places and got more fucked. don't think we touched a single beer all night, it was all spirits. by about midnight i didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore or even if i even existed but then by about 2am i'd calmed down a bit. we lost our ginger friend along the way. he either went home or died.

then at the end of it all we went to kebab kingdom. i ordered a pizza, turned around and my mate had gone!! so i phoned him and said hoi where the fuck are you!! he said wot im getting a pizza where'd you go?? i said im getting a pizza you were stood right here a minute ago!!! then he realised he was outside again and then came back inside. true story.

so we sat down to eat and then these two PHIT!!!!! students walked in, well one of them was fit the other was a little bit of a porker. anyway the one that was phit, FUCK SHE WAS PHIT!!! she had the longest legs in the world, a really short skirt on and was dressed proper classy and slutty. they asked if they could join us. being fucked and aroused i think my answer was "yeahhmhmnnhmnh!!"

so they sat down, i was talking to the phit one, my mate the chubby one. she was asking what i do for a living and stuff and then i was pretending to be interested in what she was saying and stuffs, then without warning she got up, sat on my knee and started hand feeding me the pizza!! telling me she likes my arms and asking what gym i go to then got me to feel her arms AND CHEST!!!! then said do you want to share a taxi with us "OH HELLS YEAH!!!" i replied. so we got in the taxi and she was adding her number to my phone then we all got out and they just sort of wondered off!! so my mate rang them and then we found out what street they'd gone down. we got near to their door and could see the tubby one waving at us but as we got near she closed the door and they stopped answering their phones!!! WTF!!!!

so we walked back to his and watched south park then i threw up and fell asleep. true story

Oh yeah, this sometimes happens when girls forget they're actually lesbians. It's easily done.

[Mr. Mulder]

im very tempting. it must be confusing for them.

[Squeamous]

im very tempting. it must be confusing for them.

Probably the alcohol.

I'm going out tonight. I haven't got any money but I have been persuaded by my mate who has an empty house and a fully stocked drinks cabinet. Apparently we'll get drunk there then go to a bar but only for a couple. Last weekend she promised the same and one club cage, 4 blokes, several shots, a carnival, singstar party and 3 days later I finally made it home. But tonight I'm putting my foot down, srsly.