Stuttering Freak Brother Update No.72

[chalice]

My brother-in-law was a teenage arsonist. He set light to a primary school and had to be sent to England until the heat died down. Literally.

[chalice]

Okay I still don't know to this day why the fuck my cousin drowned himself in the Avon river, he had a great career, the wife, the three kids, the dog and he killed himself by drowning, I mean fuck, it's a slow horrible way to go, and every time I think of it I just think what the fuck??????

On first reading I thought that your cousin drowned himself and his dog. I was all like 'what a cunt'. Poor dog didn't wanna be part of a suicide pact.

[Skweeky]

My other uncle faked a DNA test that said he wasn't his father's son.

[chalice]

Noice.

[Artemis]

My brother-in-law was a teenage arsonist. He set light to a primary school and had to be sent to England until the heat died down. Literally.

What the hell was the primary school made from?

[chalice]

My brother-in-law was a teenage arsonist. He set light to a primary school and had to be sent to England until the heat died down. Literally.

What the hell was the primary school made from?

What does that matter, you nut? I'm quite sure he would've had the foresight to bring his own flammable materials. Any self-respecting pyromaniac can rustle up a molotov quick smart.

[Artemis]

What the hell was the primary school made from?

What does that matter, you nut? I'm quite sure he would've had the foresight to bring his own flammable materials. Any self-respecting pyromaniac can rustle up a molotov quick smart.

Awww come on, read it again, you left me a lovely dangling participle which I took advantage of, a double entendre of heat dying down and what was the school made of....

[chalice]

Okay then. I don't do subtlety on Sunday mornings, Art.

[Squeamous]

This is better than Jeremy Kyle

[manker]

My aunt told the entire family, including her husband and kids that she was dying from cancer. She wasn't. It was a lie. Not only that, but when she was supposed to be going for treatment, she was actually having an affair with some bloke.

All this was eventually exposed and her husband took her back. What a spastic.

Fantastic.

Your family seems much more mental than mine.
I should be glad but I've now got a strange hankering to see my cousin's tit.