Jokes:Little Johnny-Entering Heaven

**ddy** · 10-15-2011, 03:39 PM

I saw there has been some time,members didn't post a joke here,i think it's time to enjoy some funny jokes with all the members here.

From now on,I will post a joke everyday,if you have anything unhappy,don't forget to come into my thread,i promise you will forget all the unhappy thing.Let's start!

A classic joke:

A nun asked her class, What part of the body goes into
heaven first?

A little girl raises her hand and says, I know, I know, the top of your head.

The nun asks, Why do you say that?

The little girl says, Because when you die, you go straight up, and the top of your head goes in first!

The nun replies, That makes sense, anyone else?

Another little girl says, I know, I know, the tips of your fingers.

The nun asks, Why the tips of your fingers?

The little girl replies, Because when you put your hands
together to pray, the tips of your fingers go into heaven
first!

The nun says, OK, anyone else?

Little Johnny is in the back waving his hand.

The nun says, OK, Johnny, please tell us what part of the body goes into heaven first?

Your feet! Your feet do, for sure! yells Johnny.

The nun, puzzled, asks, Why do you think your feet get to heaven first?

Because I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night, and my mom was in there, and she had both her feet sticking straight up in the air, and she was yelling 'Oh God, I'm coming. Oh God, I'm coming!' and if my Dad hadn't been holding her down, I think she would have gone!

**Startear** · 10-15-2011, 10:06 PM

Like that one

How many curves are there between New York and L.A.?

Only two, the left and the right one

**ddy** · 10-16-2011, 01:29 PM

A penguin decided he wanted to take a road trip. He had never really been out of Antarctica and really wanted to check out the States, so he flew to Miami and rented a car with the intent of driving to San Diego before flying home. Well, everything is going swimmingly until, somewhere in the middle of Texas when the ‘low oil pressure’ light comes on. “That’s not good” says the penguin. he pulls off the highway and as luck would have it, finds a small town with a service station.

The mechanic tells the penguin to hang out for about an hour while he figures out what’s wrong with the car. The penguin decides to walk around and check out the little town and return back in an hour. So, he’s walking along and he sees an ice cream parlor. Now, penguins LOVE ice cream, so he runs in and gets a large cone before continuing on his way. BUT, the cone begins to melt in the heat of the Texas sun and the penguin, having only flippers, was ill equipped to deal with the drippings. By the time he arrived back at the service station, he was a sticky mess.

The penguin walked up to the mechanic and says “so, did you figure out what was wrong with my car?”

The mechanic says “Looks like you blew a seal” and the penguin says “what this? No. This is ice cream.

**ddy** · 10-17-2011, 02:18 PM

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store
clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the
Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding
a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen.

She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not
spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."