What Do I Know About Your Relationship

[mjmacky]

The English teacher sharing my habitat wonders why there's a small collection of people in here that communicate with semblance of Premier League hooligans. It really bugged her when I explained it was being done with porpoise, herself having to spend an inordinate amount of time undoing the damage that Ebonics has beset upon her students; English her second language.

[Squeamous]

I'm going to write an in depth review about what kind of relationship you have with your significant other. This is based upon what I've read about you.
If you're not on this list, you're clearly single and always will be.

Chalice and Mrs. Chalice
A living Saint. She watches over the brood with the diligence of a Borg drone and the benevolence of a barren but kindly next door neighbour while chavis gets wopped. In return, Mr. C. brings home the bacon and spends quality time with the offspring for a few hours each night before woptime. This includes pretending to like poetry and pwning the fuck out of the male offspring at COD.

Barbie and Mrs. Barbie
He isn't allowed to do anything ever. Ever.

Mulder and Ms. Mulder
She often gets in the way of the tellybox and, quite frankly, doesn't know her place. Which is in the bedroom priming her back-doors for being smashed in when Vic Mackey has quite finished hitting black people in LA.

Skizo and Mrs. Skizo
lol jk. he doesn't have a gf, obviousement.

Mrs. JPaul and JPaul
A kept man. She made her fortune several years ago but keeps driving forward to keep her man in the style he has become accustomed to. He of the Jimmy-Chu shoes and Renault Clio works as a civil servant part time but it's more of a hobby to keep him from over-onanising while the kids are in school.

Bo and Lilmiss.
A heart-warming story that just goes to show that you don't have to leave your wankpit to find true love. Teh miss is clearly the boss but I think this suits Bo after having being completely dominated by his mam for loike 30 years or w.e.

Cheese and Crabgirl.
Yes, I know that they're both with other people and I know he's just had a kid and all that but he also has a fairly large and prehensile cawk. That's not the sort of thing a girl gives up easily. Expect them to get back together soon

Benchez and Mrs. Ben
I received an intriguing morsel of information from Ben the other day, his missus is now his master and dresses up like a professor in their sex gheymes. It must be a hippy thing - but given she is quite hawt and Ben's batting above his average, he'd probably get into pegging if she suggested it.

Effy and Mrs. Effy.
I really don't know. He hardly ever mentions her. Perhaps he made her up or something ... but they've got a kid. Maybe they're a gay couple like in Modern Family. I'll put monet on Effy being Cameron.

That MegaByteMe guy and his missus.
What's evident with this relationship is that his other half has clearly told him that he can spend unlimited time on the internets provided he mentions that he is the father of 18 month old twins and that one has Down's Syndrome in every single post he makes.
It seems to be working out thus far.

Honourable mention to the ostensibly single Biggles.
Les has obviously got a fair few women on the go :earl:. He is far too debonair to post about this here; but added to that I have it on good authority (A PM from one of his conquests here) that his prowess on Skype is legendary. There aren't too many females who haven't seen Les weave his wizened wand on webcam. A true hero of the internets.



Plz add more relationship evaluations that I've missed out. Idk everyone anymore

You mis-spelled 'Jimmy Choo'.

[manker]

You mis-spelled 'Jimmy Choo'.

How very male of me, and how particularly female of you

Hai, btw. Did my mention of the collective get your ocular implant twitching.

[manker]

Effy and Mrs. Effy.
I really don't know. He hardly ever mentions her. Perhaps he made her up or something ... but they've got a kid. Maybe they're a gay couple like in Modern Family. I'll put monet on Effy being Cameron.

I'm actually married now with another one on the way. The wife conviced me it would take months to get her pregnant again, but i had to hit the jackpot on the first go

Welcome back Manker have you become an accountant again

Alright, effy.
I've been an unstinting accountant for like a decade

Good news about the extra little person, virility ftw, but are you not allowed to have sex now ever again or something?
Your post kinda read like that

[manker]

I spotted Les for a non-camper right off.

Why, hello there. How the devil are you?
I hadn't seen any of your velvet glove/iron hand postings around these parts on my week long reconnaissance; if I had, I would surely have added this to my original post:

Kev and The Clockster
In their twilight years, j2 and clocker decided to move to Miami. Although their relationship is purely platonic, they decided to share a one bedroomed apartment, for convenience, in a rather swanky complex just north of south beach. The set-up was much like Earl and his brother in the first three series. With Kev eager to atone for his baby-eating frenzy of the past few decades, clocker acts as his moral barometer. These days, j2 can be seen assisting elderly democrats with their golf swing and gently cajoling newly arrived wet-backs and single mothers to rail against the tyrannical oppression of western values.
The Clockster sits shirtless in his striped deckchair, smiling with approval as he knits j2's xmas present; a white golf sweater emblazoned with a 'Red Kev' name tag.

[Squeamous]

You mis-spelled 'Jimmy Choo'.

How very male of me, and how particularly female of you

Hai, btw. Did my mention of the collective get your ocular implant twitching.

Hai!

I just like to skulk around quietly judging you all

[mjmacky]

I just like to skulk around quietly judging you all

I know the written form doesn't produce audible stimuli, but in the figurative sense, you are not very quiet.

[j2k4]

I spotted Les for a non-camper right off.

Why, hello there. How the devil are you?
I hadn't seen any of your velvet glove/iron hand postings around these parts on my week long reconnaissance; if I had, I would surely have added this to my original post:

Kev and The Clockster
In their twilight years, j2 and clocker decided to move to Miami. Although their relationship is purely platonic, they decided to share a one bedroomed apartment, for convenience, in a rather swanky complex just north of south beach. The set-up was much like Earl and his brother in the first three series. With Kev eager to atone for his baby-eating frenzy of the past few decades, clocker acts as his moral barometer. These days, j2 can be seen assisting elderly democrats with their golf swing and gently cajoling newly arrived wet-backs and single mothers to rail against the tyrannical oppression of western values.
The Clockster sits shirtless in his striped deckchair, smiling with approval as he knits j2's xmas present; a white golf sweater emblazoned with a 'Red Kev' name tag.

I had earlier constructed a lovely greeting with a nostalgic riposte and biting retort...don't know what happened to the damn thing, though.

Is there a new button needs pressing or something else.



How are you, my friend?

Today I am once again a new Grandpa.

Little Bentleigh Rose has joined us.

The velvet is new, thanks, and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.















Egad - that was morbid, wunnit?



Ah - just realized I missed my 9th anny, here.

How about that.

[Artemis]

.......and the hand remains clenched against the approaching darkness.



Egad - that was morbid, wunnit?

No, not morbid, just very Dylan Thomas.

[megabyteme]

@j2:

1. Congrats on the newest addition!
2. Stay away from the light... (Isn't that what the short woman from Poltergeist suggested? That seemed to work out alright.)
3. Congrats on 9 years!