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Thread: What Do I Know About Your Relationship

  1. #1
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    I'm going to write an in depth review about what kind of relationship you have with your significant other. This is based upon what I've read about you.
    If you're not on this list, you're clearly single and always will be.

    Chalice and Mrs. Chalice
    A living Saint. She watches over the brood with the diligence of a Borg drone and the benevolence of a barren but kindly next door neighbour while chavis gets wopped. In return, Mr. C. brings home the bacon and spends quality time with the offspring for a few hours each night before woptime. This includes pretending to like poetry and pwning the fuck out of the male offspring at COD.

    Barbie and Mrs. Barbie
    He isn't allowed to do anything ever. Ever.

    Mulder and Ms. Mulder
    She often gets in the way of the tellybox and, quite frankly, doesn't know her place. Which is in the bedroom priming her back-doors for being smashed in when Vic Mackey has quite finished hitting black people in LA.

    Skizo and Mrs. Skizo
    lol jk. he doesn't have a gf, obviousement.

    Mrs. JPaul and JPaul
    A kept man. She made her fortune several years ago but keeps driving forward to keep her man in the style he has become accustomed to. He of the Jimmy-Chu shoes and Renault Clio works as a civil servant part time but it's more of a hobby to keep him from over-onanising while the kids are in school.

    Bo and Lilmiss.
    A heart-warming story that just goes to show that you don't have to leave your wankpit to find true love. Teh miss is clearly the boss but I think this suits Bo after having being completely dominated by his mam for loike 30 years or w.e.

    Cheese and Crabgirl.
    Yes, I know that they're both with other people and I know he's just had a kid and all that but he also has a fairly large and prehensile cawk. That's not the sort of thing a girl gives up easily. Expect them to get back together soon

    Benchez and Mrs. Ben
    I received an intriguing morsel of information from Ben the other day, his missus is now his master and dresses up like a professor in their sex gheymes. It must be a hippy thing - but given she is quite hawt and Ben's batting above his average, he'd probably get into pegging if she suggested it.

    Effy and Mrs. Effy.
    I really don't know. He hardly ever mentions her. Perhaps he made her up or something ... but they've got a kid. Maybe they're a gay couple like in Modern Family. I'll put monet on Effy being Cameron.

    That MegaByteMe guy and his missus.
    What's evident with this relationship is that his other half has clearly told him that he can spend unlimited time on the internets provided he mentions that he is the father of 18 month old twins and that one has Down's Syndrome in every single post he makes.
    It seems to be working out thus far.

    Honourable mention to the ostensibly single Biggles.
    Les has obviously got a fair few women on the go :earl:. He is far too debonair to post about this here; but added to that I have it on good authority (A PM from one of his conquests here) that his prowess on Skype is legendary. There aren't too many females who haven't seen Les weave his wizened wand on webcam. A true hero of the internets.



    Plz add more relationship evaluations that I've missed out. Idk everyone anymore
    Last edited by manker; 11-10-2011 at 09:39 PM. Reason: gypos
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Proper Bo's Avatar spmado BT Rep: +2
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    hoi, you cunt, i'm 24!

    also, didn't bother reading the parts that weren't about me yet.

    As long as I've got a face
    You've got a place to sit

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Proper Bo's Avatar spmado BT Rep: +2
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    You missed yourself out, like. Are you still keeping a lady with chrome kitchen furnishings and driving her about in a hairdressermobile?

    As long as I've got a face
    You've got a place to sit

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    anigav's Avatar Dicks-lexic
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    Last edited by emailk2; 11-10-2011 at 05:50 PM.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    Wrong.


    yo

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
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    Quote Originally Posted by manker View Post
    That MegaByteMe guy and his missus.
    What's evident with this relationship is that his other half has clearly told him that he can spend unlimited time on the internets provided he mentions that he is the father of 18 month old twins and that one has Down's Syndrome in every single post he makes.
    It seems to be working out thus far.
    It's good work, if you can get it.*


    *I'm the father of 20 month old twins and one has Down's. (Added for contractual obligations.)
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Ghey lumberjacks, wolverines, blackflies in the summer, polar bears in the winter, that's basically Canada in a nutshell.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    Artemis's Avatar ¿ןɐɯɹou ǝq ʎɥʍ BT Rep: +3
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    Does a short, angry Glaswegian infected with madcow count as a relationship or a fetish ?

    4d7920686f76657263726166742069732066756c6c206f662065656c73


  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Disme's Avatar I'm Belgian BT Rep: +7BT Rep +7
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    I wasn't even mentioned ... although I am the only true FST-semi-regular member that is in a relationship worth mentioning.

    Frequenting ladies for $$$/€€€ isn't what I call a relationship!
    Can you feel the LOVE

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Biggles's Avatar Looking for loopholes
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    I thought mine quite flattering....if I only knew what Skype was I might be able to bluff it.
    Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum


  10. Lounge   -   #10
    Quarterquack's Avatar sprclfrglstcxpldcs BT Rep: +3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disme View Post
    I wasn't even mentioned ... although I am the only true FST-semi-regular member that is in a relationship worth mentioning.

    Frequenting ladies for $$$/€€€ isn't what I call a relationship!
    That's the problem, Disme. Most people just assume you're a member of your house slave closet first, and post here to vent frustrations second.

    Allow me to add a couple more:

    Macky and Jacky:
    Fighting currently over why Macky saw it fit to use Jacky's vibrator as a laboratory pipette. Macky insists it was the "quickdry" button that had him sold. Jacky argues that he doesn't like losing to competition.

    Oleg and his hand:
    Since he isn't typing shit up right now, it's a fair assumption that they're in bed together. Recent argument was held between them over why the rug hasn't been fulfilling her job, and HandEgg gets stuck with the sticky sticky.

    Snee and Oleg's other hand:
    They were going steady for a bit. Then Snee gone and disappeared. Said he'd call. Didn't. Hasn't even cashed the cheque Oleg gave him.
    Ellipses go here.

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