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**NotLettingItGo** · 11-23-2011, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by manker

If I seem driven to defend women, it's because I like them. They've always treated me very well and while I can't understand some things they do or say, i do seem to be able to relate to them very well indeed.
I think most men are like this.

I used to think and feel like that, until my eyes were opened by that 'special' woman.

Go do your accounts, my exceptionally boring lifes experience isn't anywhere near as entertaining as that's going to be.

**manker** · 11-23-2011, 07:28 PM

Ehh, the missus will be home at nine to make dinner. I'll never get them done by then. Plus I've got to drive home.

It's prolly for the best if I leave them til tomoro :sage:

**NotLettingItGo** · 11-23-2011, 09:20 PM

If it settles your mind a bit, I confess to the hyperbole, that's because I'm a soft git just like you (from the sounds of it).

I talk about lying too and using women, but I couldn't do that. It is how I feel about them, but I was indoctrinated to respect them, and I can't change that. That's why I say about not letting them into my life ever again. That I can and will do. It's all I can do.

You go on about me stalking this woman, like I am a victim of something which has caused me to 'hate' this woman. Sorry to disappoint but I don't hate her at all, quite the contrary. I've stated before about how I cared deeply for her, loved her. I still do. I can't turn that off, any more than I could turn off the love I feel for my kids (I told you I knew 'love' existed as a separate emotion). All I can do is exclude her from my life. In fact I am forced to do that precisely because I care about her, and because I can't accept the way she treated me. The alternative to that is to accept her continuing to treat me that way, and down that path lies sadnes and probably madness.

The stalking thing bothers me because I could, I know all about her life, where she lives, her phone number, where she works, the phone number, when she leaves her house to go to work, when she leaves her work to go home, which night of the week she'll be at the cinema, and I could probably take a fairly good guess at which film she'll be watching at the cinema. So physically it is possible, although only if you're the kind of sad fuck who can turn what was done to me into a hatred of someone, which is something I can't do.

All I can do is ensure I am never hurt like that again... and that's actually quite simple, I just don't let women into my life again... not beyond the occasional casual sex thing anyway.

**manker** · 11-23-2011, 11:50 PM

Originally Posted by rejectOfAllah

If it settles your mind a bit, I confess to the hyperbole, that's because I'm a soft git just like you (from the sounds of it).

I talk about lying too and using women, but I couldn't do that. It is how I feel about them, but I was indoctrinated to respect them, and I can't change that. That's why I say about not letting them into my life ever again. That I can and will do. It's all I can do.

You go on about me stalking this woman, like I am a victim of something which has caused me to 'hate' this woman. Sorry to disappoint but I don't hate her at all, quite the contrary. I've stated before about how I cared deeply for her, loved her. I still do. I can't turn that off, any more than I could turn off the love I feel for my kids (I told you I knew 'love' existed as a separate emotion). All I can do is exclude her from my life. In fact I am forced to do that precisely because I care about her, and because I can't accept the way she treated me. The alternative to that is to accept her continuing to treat me that way, and down that path lies sadnes and probably madness.

Spoiler: Show

All I can do is ensure I am never hurt like that again... and that's actually quite simple, I just don't let women into my life again... not beyond the occasional casual sex thing anyway.

That post is completely without agenda or malice now I've spoiler tagged it.
And I like it that way.
If one was only to read that, you come across as a thoroughly decent spud who has been rather unfortunate. I took your sentiments on face value, but now the other part has given me pause.

See, no one ever said anything about stalking her irl, the thought honestly never occurred, it was just following her around on the internet. This particular forum (which is actually a bit of a jape - if it got too much, she could log out). If she posts here and you want to avoid her, why come here for hours a day. That doesn't make sense.
What's in the spoiler tags is so detailed, so intricate, that it smacks, to me, of you saying; 'LOOK WHAT I COULD DO, BITCH'.

Yeah I know you said that you couldn't, but in truth the only thing between you and what you write there is a change of heart.

Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom.
I can definitely see a difference in your posts about her now and the ones back in July. This time next year you'll laugh about it

**NotLettingItGo** · 11-24-2011, 12:14 AM

No, no, no, you've gone orf all wonky again.

Originally Posted by manker

See, no one ever said anything about stalking her irl, the thought honestly never occurred, it was just following her around on the internet. This particular forum (which is actually a bit of a jape - if it got too much, she could log out). If she posts here and you want to avoid her, why come here for hours a day. That doesn't make sense.
What's in the spoiler tags is so detailed, so intricate, that it smacks, to me, of you saying; 'LOOK WHAT I COULD DO, BITCH'.

Give over man, I knew her for five years, do you really think that after that amount of time of being deceived into thinking she actually was my friend that I wouldn't have had that level of information about her? Do you really think that after five years of having what I thought was a really close friendship with her that she doesn't have that level of information about me? Get real, what I wrote there doesn't make any statement she isn't already aware of, and there's nothing there she doesn't equally know about me.

Even if she came and read this thread, nothing in those facts represents any kind of threat, they're simply facts. Ones she is fully aware I have, and ones that are turned into fear by suggestions and accusations that I 'might' be using such information as you suggested.

The accusations about me stalking her might only have been on here to you, but I know other people who read stuff on here, one of whom read your accusations that I was "aggressively stalking" her and took me to task about it. See they know what I know of her... so your accusation had a rl life impact upon me.

Hopefully you can see why my level of knowledge (as detailed in that post) combined with your accusation caused me the concern they did.

As for my attitude towards her softening, as suggested in your post, I'm sorry to disappoint, it hasn't softened or changed at all. So there will be no laughter.

**manker** · 11-24-2011, 12:31 AM

seriously
I can imagine the conversation.

the overseer; lol wtf, you're stalking prudence, it must be true 'cos manker said it, he's got like thirty thousand posts, you know.
reject; no, they're all a bunch of lying cunts.
the overseer; well, he seemed pretty certain, why would he lie about such a srs matter - even chavis the forum sage backed him up.
reject; yeah but he's his mate. they're cunts like that.
the overseer; what a pair of cunts.
reject; i know, right.
-fade to black with banjo music