Permission to Post

[chalice]

also this
Attachment 92956

Noice to the max and back again. Woo hoo!!

[Proper Bo]

He reminds me of a con I used to have, a little fat and bald middle aged bloke who torched his house cause he got in a huff with his wife or something or other. He basically spent most days writing (mostly letters full of hatred to the by then ex-wife, despite the fact that they'd never be posted as he wasn't allowed contact) and whining about women to anyone who'd listen to him. He cried a lot too...he generally got on my tits.

edit: I made him cry and smash up once when I insisted he took a poster down as it was in an unauthourised place in his cell. It was most amusing, true story.

You should do more true jail stories to the max.

Most of it would involve drinking tea and playing pool, like.
Tho' the bloke what tried to "escape" everyday would be worth a chapter of his own. He'd come down to the gate every morning, prop bag over his shoulder and try to convince whoever was on the gate that he was due for release. Every day, without fail.
The best part was that he seemed to be a bit menthol and genuinely got angry with us when we laughed and wouldn't let him leave. He'd loiter near the gate while moves went off then try to sneak past again when he thought nobody was looking.
Had to put him on his arse once for it, like, cause I stuck my arm out across the open gate so he couldn't pass and he walked into my arm, that there was an assault on me.

[Proper Bo]

Also placing an open tin of mackerel on the heating pipes in a particular "mischevious little scamp"'s cell then closing the door while he was out at court for the day was worth much luls. He was alright that one, found it funny when he came back after being sentenced.

[chalice]

There was this scabby fucking toerag from Ballymena (worst hole in NI) on my wing. He was about two steps down from a fucking dung beetle. Smelled like it too.

Somebody, having finished with the newspaper, hollered down the wing, 'Does anybody want this?'

Ballymena bounded out of cell screaming, 'Give it to me!! What is it?!?'

Laugh? I nearly shat.

[NotLettingItGo]

I'm not the one stalking the only female in the lounge, though, making general derisory statements about women just cos you know she'll read them. That's pretty fucking sad, mate.

Ever considered chemical castration? I've heard it works wonders for perverts like you.

We've done that crap, have you no new false accusations to level at me? Or are we to be stuck in this loop of you making the same old false accusations over and over and over... you're starting to bore me, and I suspect everyone else.

[chalice]

I'm not the one stalking the only female in the lounge, though, making general derisory statements about women just cos you know she'll read them. That's pretty fucking sad, mate.

Ever considered chemical castration? I've heard it works wonders for perverts like you.

We've done that crap, have you no new false accusations to level at me? Or are we to be stuck in this loop of you making the same old false accusations over and over and over... you're starting to bore me, and I suspect everyone else.

If the accusations were false, I would've stopped by now.

[Proper Bo]

There was this scabby fucking toerag from Ballymena (worst hole in NI) on my wing. He was about two steps down from a fucking dung beetle. Smelled like it too.

Somebody, having finished with the newspaper, hollered down the wing, 'Does anybody want this?'

Ballymena bounded out of cell screaming, 'Give it to me!! What is it?!?'

Laugh? I nearly shat.

:earl:
had one very similar, he'd also go round scanning the ground looking for tab ends to collect to get the tiny amount of precious baccy out of them.
The other cons all called him "Jesus", why? Not because he had some profound ideas or taught them shit, but instead because he had scraggly long hair and beard. Genious bunch, like.
He did used to get little gifts of roll-on deodorant and shower gel left outside his door every morning, like, cause he fucking hummed.

edit: not from me, like, my guess was it was his neighbours.

[NotLettingItGo]

He reminds me of a con I used to have, a little fat and bald middle aged bloke who torched his house cause he got in a huff with his wife or something or other. He basically spent most days writing (mostly letters full of hatred to the by then ex-wife, despite the fact that they'd never be posted as he wasn't allowed contact) and whining about women to anyone who'd listen to him. He cried a lot too...he generally got on my tits.

edit: I made him cry and smash up once when I insisted he took a poster down as it was in an unauthourised place in his cell. It was most amusing, true story.

Whereas you just look like yet another mate of chavis to me.

[NotLettingItGo]

If the accusations were false, I would've stopped by now.

Boring!

[Proper Bo]

He reminds me of a con I used to have, a little fat and bald middle aged bloke who torched his house cause he got in a huff with his wife or something or other. He basically spent most days writing (mostly letters full of hatred to the by then ex-wife, despite the fact that they'd never be posted as he wasn't allowed contact) and whining about women to anyone who'd listen to him. He cried a lot too...he generally got on my tits.

edit: I made him cry and smash up once when I insisted he took a poster down as it was in an unauthourised place in his cell. It was most amusing, true story.

Whereas you just look like yet another mate of chavis to me.

It's incredible how you could draw such a conclusion based on the logic that I find you banal and am therefore a "mate of chavis".