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Thread: How Does Santa Do It?

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    DarthInsinuate's Avatar Died in battle
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    How does old, fat Father Christmas deliever all our prezzies in one night?

    Does he have a magic sleigh that goes fast?
    Does he stop time at midnight?
    Does he infact not deliver himself but hires elves/posties/Ernest to do it?


    In my opinion (after watching The Matrix a few too many times) Santa discovered the truth about our world and can bend the rules and fly/kung-fu/stop bullets/bend spoons and deliver presents in bullet-time
    The Sexay Half Of ABBA And Max: Freelance Plants

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    remember the time zones ya know its a diffirent time here than it is there so i use time zones to help me also i have a few helpers so sometimes someone other than me will deliver them to ur house plus yes the sleds are super fast

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    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    It's a funny time is Christmas. On one hand you've got kids saying that it is possible to visit every house in the world all in one single night. And on the other hand you've got adults saying that that's absolute crap and that Christmas is about a man who can walk on water.

    Personally I think they're both talking shit

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    santa don't like hoodlems like u telling me i don't exzist





    -santa

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    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    With full consent of the will, and supreme confidence in his abilities.

    He is very committed to his work.
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

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    How he crosses into international air spaces also confuses me. Another thing, just because one of the parents is a jehovah witness, Santa won't visit that house? Oh, what, becuase of the country, he wont visit? Lastly, because your family is too poor, he wont treat you as nicely as your friends?

    Face it, santa is one evil fat prick.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    I don't like santa, but my parents give me presents

    In the latest Fairy theory it is know that Santa Does a time stop. Stops time for a very long while. And during the timestop your brain can't won't allow you too change actions. Say you were sleeping no matter what you can
    t wake up your brain won't let you. Say you were awake, your brain won't let you go to sleep. But say you get drugged that can put you to sleep cause your brain is forced. So thats the latest Fairy Theory.

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    Originally posted by DarthInsinuate@13 November 2003 - 09:14
    How does old, fat Father Christmas deliever all our prezzies in one night?

    Does he have a magic sleigh that goes fast?
    Does he stop time at midnight?
    Does he infact not deliver himself but hires elves/posties/Ernest to do it?


    In my opinion (after watching The Matrix a few too many times) Santa discovered the truth about our world and can bend the rules and fly/kung-fu/stop bullets/bend spoons and deliver presents in bullet-time
    According to the FBI, Interpol and various other sources, the man with the aliases; Santa, Kris Kringle, Saint Nick, Jelly Belly is the elusive leader of a world-wide ring of master thieves and burglars. They're M.O. generally follows this pattern.....on or about December 25 each year, " Santas " break in to homes throughout the world leaving packages of cheaply made toys, gifts, bad ties, etc.underneath decorated, dead evergreen trees, all the while taking digital images of the more costly and fenceable contents in each household. These images are then uploaded to a sattelite where they are retrieved by the various members of this criminal organization ( calling themselves Santa's Little Helpers ). Shortly afterwards these homes are burgled and the the expensive items fenced, the profits split and the surplus providing funding for next year's shipment of cheap goods to be delivered to future homes...thus renewing the vicious cycle. Anyone having information regarding the whereabouts of this criminal master mind is asked to contact " The Easter Bunny " at FBI headquarters in Washington;
    (202) 324-3447
    935 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
    Washington DC
    USA


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    JONNO_CELEBS's Avatar Densly Loadan BT Rep: +20BT Rep +20BT Rep +20BT Rep +20
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    I'm not alowed to post in here cos it said "NOT a discussion about sex"..........DoH!

    He's very clever tho and I guess Mrs.Claus gives him a .....................Bad Jonno

    Jonno B)
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  10. Lounge   -   #10
    Originally posted by Riddler@13 November 2003 - 20:38
    According to the FBI, Interpol and various other sources, the man with the aliases; Santa, Kris Kringle, Saint Nick, Jelly Belly is the elusive leader of a world-wide ring of master thieves and burglars. They're M.O. generally follows this pattern.....on or about December 25 each year, " Santas " break in to homes throughout the world leaving packages of cheaply made toys, gifts, bad ties, etc.underneath decorated, dead evergreen trees, all the while taking digital images of the more costly and fenceable contents in each household. These images are then uploaded to a sattelite where they are retrieved by the various members of this criminal organization ( calling themselves Santa's Little Helpers ). Shortly afterwards these homes are burgled and the the expensive items fenced, the profits split and the surplus providing funding for next year's shipment of cheap goods to be delivered to future homes...thus renewing the vicious cycle. Anyone having information regarding the whereabouts of this criminal master mind is asked to contact " The Easter Bunny " at FBI headquarters in Washington;
    (202) 324-3447
    935 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
    Washington DC
    USA

    Wow lol i never knew that. What would the parents say if they saw this "criminal" oviously they know it can't be santa clauz?

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