What can I do?

**manker** · 12-07-2011, 06:34 PM

I've already nailed it.
Sorry that my analysis doesn't quite match up to your self-perception but the truth is regularly more mundane than fiction.

**Squeamous** · 12-07-2011, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by megabyteme

He's probably a bit scared of you. More sex, and he'll soon be over it.

Thanks lovely, I knew you would make it all better. I'll just ease him into it with a dab of chloroform behind my ears and Bob's your uncle, he will be mine.

Originally Posted by megabyteme

And, isn't this more your normal standard for entry, Sq? How did his application get moved to the top of the stack without being qualified?

http://movieclips.com/Zf5G-real-geni...ry-smart-girl/

Doesn't want to download

Originally Posted by manker

I've already nailed it.
Sorry that my analysis doesn't quite match up to your self-perception but the truth is regularly more mundane than fiction.

Originally Posted by manker

In all seriousness, Squeams, you're obviously doing it wrong in some way.

Maybe you're only partly to blame but if you've chosen some old guy, a homosexual or a hippy, then of course they're not going to want sex very much.
If your target is none of those things, then you have a problem and I think I can help.

You're hungry and your mother gives you a cake. You eat one and although you're still hungry, you don't accept a second.
Given that you wouldn't want to offend your mam and you have a physical need for cake, it can only be because the cake sucked.

So you're doing sex wrong. At least from a guy's perspective.
zomg i'm a guy!1 You can re-create the scene with, um, a mannequin or a teddy or something else - and we'll get to the bottom of this connundrum via the gift of skype

That scene with Seven and Harry in this context was pretty damn awesome, btw

Wow, my confidence has plummetted to an all-time low. Not only am I now worried I'm bad in bed, but I'm now worried that you think I'm bad in bed. The fact that you've slipped a sexual advance in there is making me almost as eager to please as the last fat girl in the club at 2am. I'll do anything Manky, ANYTHING

Spoiler: Show

(that scene isn't really very far from the truth actually

)

**NotLettingItGo** · 12-07-2011, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by manker

I've already nailed it.
Sorry that my analysis doesn't quite match up to your self-perception but the truth is regularly more mundane than fiction.

Really? Where's that post then?

**manker** · 12-07-2011, 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Wow, my confidence has plummetted to an all-time low. Not only am I now worried I'm bad in bed, but I'm now worried that you think I'm bad in bed. The fact that you've slipped a sexual advance in there is making me almost as eager to please as the last fat girl in the club at 2am. I'll do anything Manky, ANYTHING

Spoiler: Show

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing

Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

**NotLettingItGo** · 12-07-2011, 07:25 PM

I'm going to assume you mean this (what with it being your last guess) when you talk about 'already nailing it'

Originally Posted by manker

I'll summarise:
You're a decent kind of a chap who had a thing for a chick who posts here but got hurt and that exacerbated your general disillusionment with humans - and you like to fuck around with hyperbole on the internets.

But that went wrong inside the first seven words, I am not a decent chap, I might once have been, but I'm not anymore. I've been saying that for months now, so I'd have thought you might have got it by now.
I never 'had a thing' for any 'chick' who posts here, in fact I can state in truth that I've never known any chick who posts here.
I did have what I was deceived into believing was a friendship with a woman who reads this board, but it turned out she was a lying maniplulative piece of trash, who was never my friend, as she proved beyond any shadow of a doubt, so yes she did exacerbate my disillusion with humans.

So it looks like you haven't nailed fuck all.

**Biggles** · 12-07-2011, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by manker

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Wow, my confidence has plummetted to an all-time low. Not only am I now worried I'm bad in bed, but I'm now worried that you think I'm bad in bed. The fact that you've slipped a sexual advance in there is making me almost as eager to please as the last fat girl in the club at 2am. I'll do anything Manky, ANYTHING

Spoiler: Show

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing

Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

I think this is your opportunity to dress up as Jean Luc and say "make it so"

**Biggles** · 12-07-2011, 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by Squeamous

Usually when I have sexy times with a man he wants to do it again. In this case, the plaintiff, who we shall refer to only as 'R' insists that although he would like to spend more time with me sex is by no means a foregone conclusion. I think it is. Obviously I could just rape him like I normally do, but I would really like to try consensual sex for once in my life. Since the feted occasion of our coupling I have been trying to show an interest in his shit and sending him Youtube clips of the Borg and Dominion wars (Star Trek franchise) in an attempt to inflame his ardour. To be honest I'm almost out of ideas. We have arranged a Star Trek DVD fest at his place over the Xmas period. Would it be too much to turn up as Jeri Ryan in a Santa outfit? Obviously I want to avoid this sort of thing happening:

Without necessarily being overly specific what did you do to him the first time round?

**manker** · 12-07-2011, 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by R

So it looks like you haven't nailed fuck all.

smh

**manker** · 12-07-2011, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by Biggles

Originally Posted by manker

Damn your spoiler. Damn it to hell.
I was so sure my (completely altruistic) plan would work - and then you splayed its inner workings for all to see, like some kind of frog in a lab.

You know, you're kinda funny for a girl. Maybe you could try and tell some jokes about aids or jews. Guys like that kinda thing

Failing that, do the Jeri Ryan Santa outfit. There isn't a guy alive who wouldn't baste you on the xmas dinner table in front of the entire family if you walked into the room dressed like that.

I think this is your opportunity to dress up as Jean Luc and say "make it so"

I'd go the whole hog; shave my head and dress in a leotard for the faintest glimmer of hint of a chance for that kind of RP action