Last one to post wins the internets (archived)

[chalice]

I'd also like to add that you've turned out to be a bit of a disappointment.

Disappointment? I'm a fucking catastrophe and don't you go forgetting it. What I wouldn't give to be a simple disappointment.

I've been up since half four this morning, getting stoned and drinking wine and watching Star Trek TNG. I'm hungry, but I cannot be arsed foraging for food. Got a haircut yesterday and the shocks of grey which fell away were shocking altogether. Got drunk on my own in a bar full of bachelorette partyers. It was horrific, from what I recall. Woke up this morning covered in cake. Yes, cake. Bed sheets and clothes from yesterday looked like a painting by a four year old.

I wish you were my mum. You wouldn't stand for this kinda nonsense. You'd make me chicken soup and massage my bald spot with jasmine or some such.

[TheFoX]

The sunset woman doesn't even know the difference in there and their.

But she is blonde, so she has an excuse for being a retard.

[TheFoX]

I don't believe in divulging age or race on the internet because both come laden with certain prejudices and assumptions but since you're a friend I'm willing to bend that rule and tell you that I'm really your Mum.

So, you're black and likes singing gospel then.

[TheFoX]

I think it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that it doesn't matter how smart or respected or talented you are,if you are ugly you are basically fighting an uphill battle.

That would explain why some of the most powerful people in the world are also some of the dumbest. It wasn't their intellect that won them power, but their good looks. Of course, this doesn't explain how you got where you got to, does it?

[TheFoX]

No more noob status please! lol

You'll always been a n00b to us. It is your pathetic nature that we find so appealing.

[TheFoX]

.

That's the best thing you have said all week. Keep it up.

[IdolEyes787]

So, you're black and likes singing gospel then.

It's "Black"and no.
As I've stated I'm a Irish lady of approximately retirement age.As such I'm more into the Liam Clancys' and Daniel O'Donnells.

If I were however to be Black,I think I would more be into Motown type R n' B.

[Snee]

I always reckoned mexican, on account of that I can practically hear the tacos.

[Artemis]

I always thought Morocco, because of the strong emanations of cous cous.

[megabyteme]

I'd also like to add that you've turned out to be a bit of a disappointment.

Disappointment? I'm a fucking catastrophe and don't you go forgetting it. What I wouldn't give to be a simple disappointment.

I've been up since half four this morning, getting stoned and drinking wine and watching Star Trek TNG. I'm hungry, but I cannot be arsed foraging for food. Got a haircut yesterday and the shocks of grey which fell away were shocking altogether. Got drunk on my own in a bar full of bachelorette partyers. It was horrific, from what I recall. Woke up this morning covered in cake. Yes, cake. Bed sheets and clothes from yesterday looked like a painting by a four year old.

I wish you were my mum. You wouldn't stand for this kinda nonsense. You'd make me chicken soup and massage my bald spot with jasmine or some such.

Don't feel bad, there's loads of action verbs in the above.

Did I miss the results from that job you got but were concerned about the piss test?