Manker, stop pm-ing me

[manker]

I better clear this up.
I'm usually forced into role-playing a 45 year old moustachioed stalker. It's often the only way Squeams can get off.


She must have remained in character and presumed the same of me

[Squeamous]

Exactly at what age are scrotes attractive, in your experience?

I'm more interested in the story behind how she became an authority on elderly balls.

I better clear this up.
I'm usually forced into role-playing a 45 year old moustachioed stalker. It's often the only way Squeams can get off.


She must have remained in character and presumed the same of me

It's a fact men over 30 start to sag in the testicular latitude. Being under 30 is no guarantee they haven't of course, I've seen some proper saggy ones in my time on men as young as late 20s. I haven't got a problem with them aesthetically, it's more they don't really behave all that well during sex. It's just difficult to work with them, you know?

[mjmacky]

I haven't got a problem with them aesthetically, it's more they don't really behave all that well during sex. It's just difficult to work with them, you know?

If they stretch long enough, they can slap the clitoris during doggy style.

[manker]

I'm more interested in the story behind how she became an authority on elderly balls.

I better clear this up.
I'm usually forced into role-playing a 45 year old moustachioed stalker. It's often the only way Squeams can get off.


She must have remained in character and presumed the same of me

It's a fact men over 30 start to sag in the testicular latitude. Being under 30 is no guarantee they haven't of course, I've seen some proper saggy ones in my time on men as young as late 20s. I haven't got a problem with them aesthetically, it's more they don't really behave all that well during sex. It's just difficult to work with them, you know?

Yeah well just leave them alone.
Each time an eager to please and, worse, drunken vagina-owner starts messing around with my bawls and doing things like putting one in her mouth, I forget all about sex and start thinking about how I'm on the precipice of extreme hurty pain.
What if she pulls too hard and my vas deferens snaps, what if she bites, what if she accidentally crushes one

On the plus side it's like psychological delay-spray but I hate every second of it.

[chalice]

My 14 year old came into the house after a shopping expedition a couple of weeks ago. 'Look what I got, dad', he beamed. He'd bought a Reservoir Dogs t-shirt and an oversized CND medallion.

'Have you seen Reservoir Dogs?', I asked.

'Um, nope', was the gormless reply.

Do you know what that medallion symbolises? Do you even know what CND stands for?'

'Um, nope'.

Kids are fucking idiots. You heard it here first.

[NotLettingItGo]

..

[Squeamous]

Yeah well just leave them alone.
Each time an eager to please and, worse, drunken vagina-owner starts messing around with my bawls and doing things like putting one in her mouth, I forget all about sex and start thinking about how I'm on the precipice of extreme hurty pain.
What if she pulls too hard and my vas deferens snaps, what if she bites, what if she accidentally crushes one

On the plus side it's like psychological delay-spray but I hate every second of it.

Lulz, amateurs.

My 14 year old came into the house after a shopping expedition a couple of weeks ago. 'Look what I got, dad', he beamed. He'd bought a Reservoir Dogs t-shirt and an oversized CND medallion.

'Have you seen Reservoir Dogs?', I asked.

'Um, nope', was the gormless reply.

Do you know what that medallion symbolises? Do you even know what CND stands for?'

'Um, nope'.

Kids are fucking idiots. You heard it here first.

Please sir, can I have some relevance?

oliver-twist-007.jpg

[chalice]

.

My 14 year old came into the house after a shopping expedition a couple of weeks ago. 'Look what I got, dad', he beamed. He'd bought a Reservoir Dogs t-shirt and an oversized CND medallion.

'Have you seen Reservoir Dogs?', I asked.

'Um, nope', was the gormless reply.

Do you know what that medallion symbolises? Do you even know what CND stands for?'

'Um, nope'.

Kids are fucking idiots. You heard it here first.

Please sir, can I have some relevance?

oliver-twist-007.jpg

Reservoir Dogs inspired anecdote. That's all you're getting.

Edit: This should've been in manker's funeral thread.

[Squeamous]

Reservoir Dogs inspired anecdote. That's all you're getting.

Edit: This should've been in manker's funeral thread.

I know, you fuckwit x

[Artemis]

Each time an eager to please and, worse, drunken vagina-owner starts messing around with my bawls and doing things like putting one in her mouth, I forget all about sex and start thinking about how I'm on the precipice of extreme hurty pain.
What if she pulls too hard and my vas deferens snaps, what if she bites, what if she accidentally crushes one

On the plus side it's like psychological delay-spray but I hate every second of it.

On rereading this, the thought occurs that you don't have to get them drunk, you could drug them instead. The plus side of this too, is that with the right amount of a rufy or some such they will lack the muscular control to cause you extreme hurty pain, thus relieving you of the stress and worry over being possibly scarred for life. Just think, you will be able to teabag away with little threat to your bawls, this really is a win win situation.