Hoi Darth Cicero

**chalice** · 05-02-2012, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by manker

Originally Posted by chavis

He's calling you a protestant, mate. It doesn't get any more insulting than that.

When I was little, I was watching the news and asked my dad if I was a protestant or a catholic. He said that I was a protestant because if I was a catholic, I'd be completely aware of the fact already.

Presumably because I've only got the one sibling but if he didn't mean that then I'm as confused now as I was then.

My cousin (two years my senior) and I wandered into a loyalist area completely innocently and by chance when I was about seven. We had decided to run away from home and get jobs because our mums wouldn't give us each 10p. Within about 30 seconds, we were surrounded by bigger boys with sticks who proceeded to interrogate us as to our religious persuasion and our fathers' names. We were completely baffled, cos although we were aware of our religion, nobody had bothered to tell us there was another sect who didn't particularly like us.

Anyway, I told them my dad was dead and they seemed to take pity on me. They got out a marker and wrote 'TAIG' on my cousin's forehead and stoned us back over the peace-line. Those were the days.

This has been an irrelevant yet true story.

**manker** · 05-02-2012, 02:39 PM

Sounds pretty exciting and scary in Belfast in the before time.
My best stories from back when involve insects and magnifying glasses and setting mountains ablaze. but don't tell Idol.

**ckrit** · 05-02-2012, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by manker

Sounds pretty exciting and scary in Belfast in the before time.
My best stories from back when involve insects and magnifying glasses.

That shit's for amateurs. What you want to do is go collecting different kinds of ants from different anthills, then put them all in the bucket or something and watch them duke it out, gladiator-style. But don't tell idol.

My own childhood was peaceful to the max. Except for some fighting with chains and kicking people to the ground and setting fields on fire and pulling electronic equipment apart and getting mildly poisoned from sucking on the wrong components and setting spike traps for bikers in the woods. But don't tell idol about that either.

**Proper Bo** · 05-02-2012, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by ckrit

pulling electronic equipment apart and getting mildly poisoned from sucking on the wrong components

ewe jap chaps are perverts

**Squeamous** · 05-02-2012, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by mjmacky

I'll make this short, I said I wear boxer briefs.

**manker** · 05-02-2012, 03:20 PM

I'm thinking about dressing up a dog in lycra, putting him on a unicycle, locking him out in the rain and slow-frying a polar bear steak with the window open. Idol must nevar know.

And also, gladiator ants

I've seen a wasp fight a spider before. That was pretty orsum.

**Barbarossa** · 05-02-2012, 03:23 PM

We used to catch wasps and bees and put them in jam jars together, but don't tell Idol.

That was quite fun, until I got stung once. By a wasp, obviously. The bees were total pussies

**Squeamous** · 05-02-2012, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by mjmacky

Here's the breakdown:
Trousers sounds like a snobby, privileged way for white people to say pants.
I usually stick to calling snobby, privileged white people by their common classification here as White Anglo-Saxon Protestants (WASP)
I just didn't bother to capitalize.

If this sounded overly condescending, it's your own fault for backing me into a corner the two of you.

Trousers are what people who speak English like to say when they're wanting to distinguish between underwear and outerwear. English people I believe have naming rights and therefore authority in this matter.

Anyway, shouldn't you be throwing off the shackles of ~~your father~~ dominant patriarchal white slavery and wearing a kimono or something else?

**manker** · 05-02-2012, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by Barbarossa

We used to catch wasps and bees and put them in jam jars together, but don't tell Idol.

That was quite fun, until I got stung once. By a wasp, obviously. The bees were total pussies

Wasps are srsly badass.

They're the only thing I've not got any moral qualms about killing. Except I don't kill them anyway, I try to shepherd them out of the window because I know if I squish one, fortyleven of his mates will smell the dead wasp aroma and be round to get me. While I sleep probably.

wasp.PNG