Why, Darth. That's a great premise for a movie, like. At first the guy goes around sleeping with the girls he likes. Then the girls who were stuck-up all throughout his childhood. Then he decides he wants the ultimate night of Scarlett Johansson, followed by Jessica Alba, and topped off with Eva Mendez. Then he realizes the power can get him in bed with the first lady for the perfect setup of scandalous blackmail. But then he realizes the first lady has a golden leg opener detector. And the movie turns all sci-fi mind-fuck TMNT style. Then in Denzel Washington style, the poor lad has to run through 20 buildings while the army is on his tail. The movie ends with the dude realizing that the leg opener was codenamed cupid because it can affect other people's emotions towards each other. And just how any good movie should end, he turns the entire army on towards each other. The closing scene is 10,000 soldiers entrenched in each others thighs and arms, helmets coming off their bodies as if they were on fire, kevlar being used for lumbar support, gun silencers being used as buttplugs, and walkie talkies being used to communicate obscenities.
The post-credits bonus scene should be the guy bribing a shawerma place into giving him free food by having Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez and Scarlett Johansson pose nude for an advertisement. Because every movie coming out after today must reference The Avengers.
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