he's known here, but not as known as he must be in the UK...Originally Posted by manker
Jamie Oliver jokes are definitely allowed.
Their eyes say "no", but their oversized tongues fail to form the word, so it's not molestation.
The mockney cuntlord.
Attachment 113968Bristol - Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver was stunned to learn that he was born with Down's Syndrome, a genetic condition caused by the presence of a 21st chromosome.
Oliver was publically challenged to be tested by Professor Walter McAllister of Cambridge University, who says the 33 year old beacon fellowship prize winner clearly exhibits every symptom of the disorder.
"I'm a big fan of his (Jamie's) work on television, but it's always been quite apparent to me, and all of my colleagues, that he suffers from trisomy 21" the Professor told the british press this morning, "his mongolistic facial features, the ringing timbre of his voice, his large thick tongue, the oblique fissures with epicanthic skin folds on the inner corner of his eyes, his obvious cognitive inadequacies... I suppose I'm really more a fan of marvelling over the fact he is working on television, than I am a fan of his actual work".
Oliver was reluctant to take the test, but was eventually persuaded by wife and former model Juliette Norton, "I just thought we should know, he really didn't want to have anything to do with the tests, I had to distract him with my keys so they could take the blood sample", the mother of 2 told a BBC reporter, "I've regularly wondered myself if he had a mental disability, he often drools while calling me jools, and if I leave him alone with the kids he'll start drawing on them with a texta, when I heard a professor suspected he could have down's syndrome I just knew it was true".
When asked if she was concerned about the possibility of the children having the syndrome she was quite candid, "haha, no no, these aren't his, I've never even slept with Jamie, yeah just let him suck my tits a few times, he thinks that is sex, no these are (cricketer)freddie flintoff's kids, little known fact, I was keeping it a secret but you know, rather be seen as a cheating whore than a tard fucker with spacker kids".
When reached for comment Jamie Oliver appeared upbeat and simply repeated "doc says I'm abnormal" over and over again in his trademark mockney accent, his publicist later clarified that Jamie was "unphased by the findings and will continue his work on the third season of his critically acclaimed series Jamie at home".
Professor McAlister's final thoughts on the issue were expressed at a press conference this morning "I think it's just remarkable that someone so unambiguously affected by Down's syndrome can rise to the ranks of world beating TV chef, and perhaps most remarkable of all is the fact his food is terrible. Seriously, he brought me muffins as a gift - for proving he is a retard mind you, which in itself is retarded- and they had human dung and toy cars strewn through them, his fame is apparently all on the back of his querky personality, which is entirely a result of his unfortunate genetic disorder".
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